Title: I’ve Always Known, With You I Am Home
Pairing: CNU/Gongchan (B1A4)
Genre(s): fluff, romance
Word Count: 1,128
Summary: Shinwoo seeks comfort with the maknae of the group.
Written for the kacts
comm and originally posted here
a/n: title taken from Vanessa Carlton's song, "Home."
Shinwoo found himself spending a lot of time with Gongchan despite the fact that Gongchan was the maknae and he was the oldest. Because Jinyoung was always busy being their leader (Shinwoo had been disappointed at first at not being declared the leader since he was just a little bit older than Jinyoung, but after he realized that the other boy was more meticulous and precise than he could ever be, he accepted the decision) and Baro and Sandeul were always with each other wreaking some sort of havoc. So that left him and Gongchan.
It’s not that he minded. In fact, having the younger boy around was probably good for him since he could all too easily lapse into a melancholic daze, thinking about his family and friends back home and feeling lonely. But Gongchan was always go, go, go- always doing something or talking about something or, in his rare quiet moments, thinking of something else that might be fun. His energy and enthusiasm made it difficult for Shinwoo to feel lonely- in fact, the only times he ever felt loneliness creeping up on him were when Gongchan was off on a schedule without him. But fortunately, that didn’t happen often.
Despite his growing dependence and affection for the younger boy, he never stated his feelings out loud to the other members- he had an appearance to keep up, after all. Though he had a feeling they knew anyway- he supposed that their friendship was pretty hard to miss.
Shinwoo shifted, feeling the sleep that had been consuming him falling away to reveal the darkened bedroom of their dorm.
“Gongchan?” Shinwoo squinted into the dark to see the maknae leaning over him, a sheepish smile on his face.
“Can I…can I sleep with you, hyung?”
Shinwoo mentally scolded himself when his sleep-clouded mind went straight to the gutter only to realize that Gongchan simply meant that he wanted to sleep in his bed.
“Of-of course,” he answered perhaps a beat too late, scooting over and holding up the blankets while the younger boy climbed in.
“Thanks, hyung,” Gongchan sighed, burrowing under the blankets and curling up against Shinwoo’s side.
“How come you wanted to sleep in my bed?” Shinwoo whispered after a moment when it became clear that the maknae wasn’t going to offer an explanation.
“Lonely,” the younger boy mumbled, already dozing off.
Shinwoo immediately felt a tug to his heart at that, hating to think of Gongchan as anything, but happy. Instinctively, he draped an arm over the other’s middle, pulling him closer. The younger boy hummed in appreciation, burying his face against Shinwoo’s shoulder as he slipped into unconsciousness.
The older boy felt his body relax, the extra warmth soothing him despite not even knowing that he’d been craving it. His eyes fluttered shut as he inhaled, catching a whiff of the other boy’s shampoo- it smelled fresh and cheery. He smiled despite himself and inhaled again more deliberately. The scent lulled him into an almost-sleep, his mind and body content as he hovered on the edge of consciousness.
Gongchan shifted slightly and somehow moved even closer, his nose against Shinwoo’s neck. The older boy smiled and felt his heart flutter in his chest as he continued to drift off.
Suddenly he was wide awake. His heart was not
supposed to flutter in this situation. He was not
supposed to react that way to Gongchan. No.
But he couldn’t even deny it- not with the maknae pressed against him like he was- so pleasantly warm and comfortable.
When had his normal affections turned into…this?
He hadn’t a clue. But it was safe to say that Shinwoo hadn’t seen this coming.
The next morning, Shinwoo carefully slipped out of bed so he wouldn’t wake Gongchan- partly because he wanted to let the other sleep some more and partly because he feared the idea of waking up next to Gongchan and having the younger boy cuddle up to him under the covers, which he was sure was what would have happened had he not awoken before his alarm.
Fortunately, it wasn’t uncommon for him to be up early- on a typical day it was either himself or Baro who was the first to put two feet on the floor followed by Sandeul, Gongchan, and finally Jinyoung.
Shinwoo made his way to the kitchen, sliding his glasses on once he’d rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He wasn’t hungry yet (and it would be rude to eat breakfast before anyone else was awake anyway) so he decided to put on some water to for tea. He needed to just be calm.
But as he put the kettle full of water on the stove to boil, he felt a presence behind him. And though he wanted to claim that it was paranoia that had him thinking (knowing) that it was Gongchan before he even turned around, he knew that wasn’t the case.
A sharp chin hooked over his shoulder and thin arms wrapped around his waist.
“Thanks, hyung,” Gongchan murmured, voice still thick with sleep just as his body was still toasty warm from being curled up in bed. Shinwoo thought that maybe staying in bed to feel Gongchan hug him like that wouldn’t have been such a bad thing.
The problem was that Shinwoo didn’t know how to respond, despite the fact that simply saying you’re welcome
would suffice in any type of situation like this. Because you’re welcome
didn’t really say what he wanted to say. Whatever that was.
So he turned his head, wanting to see the other’s face- maybe that would bring about a string of words that he felt were appropriate. But instead of his lips finding the answer that he needed, they found Gongchan’s lips- warm and dry and stupidly perfect against his own.
He didn’t know if he had meant to do it or if Gongchan had been the one to close the gap. Or perhaps it was an honest to god accident.
Either way, this kiss was short- just a press of lips- but it had his mind reeling and his stomach clenching pleasurably like the first time they’d been on stage.
The younger boy pulled back, shooting him a smile that showed absolutely no fear for the future or regret for what had just happened and Shinwoo found his own lips curving upwards in response. For the first time in ages, Shinwoo felt like his mind was clear and that there was nothing to worry about.
And even if something came up, he knew that he’d get through it with Gongchan at his side. Because that’s how they’d gotten there that morning, smiling at each other like fools in love; they’d gotten there together.