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The Garden of Earthly Delights
My Mind Is My Best Friend And My Worst Enemy
Packing Heat (BaekYeol) 
31st-Aug-2012 07:02 pm
Title: Packing Heat
Pairing: BaekYeol
Rating: PG-13
Genre(s): humor, crack
Word Count: 537
Summary: Chanyeol muses over blogs dedicated to particular parts of Baekhyun's body. Baekhyun is mortified.
a/n: I am no longer allowed to write things that I think of at two in the morning OTL

------------------


“There's an entire blog dedicated to your fingers, you know,” Chanyeol announced, eyeing the screen of his laptop.

“That's weird,” Baekhyun replied, from where he was reclining on his bed reading a book- blankets rumpled and pillow smashed under his shoulders.

“Not that weird,” Chanyeol argued, spinning around in his desk chair to face his roommate, “You have nice fingers.”

Baekhyun spared a glance at his hand, cast a yellowish shade from his bedside table lamp. His fingers didn't look particularly special to him, so he just shrugged and went back to reading.

“I'm surprised that there aren't blogs related to other features of yours,” Chanyeol mused, shifting in his chair and making the wood creak.

“Like what?” Baekhyun frowned, finally setting his earmarked book down since it seemed that Chanyeol was going to continue to address him, “I think there might be one about my eyeliner?”

“Not that,” Chanyeol laughed, “Though there is one dedicated to your eyeliner.”

He paused, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. Baekhyun steeled himself for whatever was coming next. Unfortunately, past experience gave him a clue as to where this was going and it was no where good.

“Someone should make one about little Baekhyun,” Chanyeol finally said, looking supremely pleased with himself.

Baekhyun found himself flushing at the idea despite the fact that he had assumed that Chanyeol was going to say something along those lines.

“Chanyeol, I've told you a million times,” he replied, exasperated and trying hide his mortification, “Don't call it that.”

“I don't really see what's so wrong ab-”

“First of all,” Baekhyun cut him off, “It implies that my dick and I are separate entities, which is kind of an alarming thought.”

Chanyeol didn't seem particularly moved.

“Second,” he went on, “It makes it sound like it's...a person, which is so so weird and creepy.”

“Fine,” Chanyeol relented, holding his hands up in defeat, “But there should still be a blog about it.”

“Whatever,” Baekhyun grumbled, trying to shake the last pangs of embarrassment.

“I mean, really,” Chanyeol continued, unconcerned about Baekhyun's reluctance to discuss the topic, “Didn't any fans notice what you're working with after you wore those really tight pants for MAMA?”

Baekhyun felt his cheeks flame even more, having the sudden urge to crawl under his blankets to hide.

“Chanyeol,” he whined, feeling self conscious enough to put his book in his lap even though Chanyeol had seen his cock countless times, “Can we please not talk about this anymore? It's weird.”

Chanyeol shrugged and turned back to his computer, leaving Baekhyun to curl into a ball of embarrassment in peace.

And just when Baekhyun had finally managed to focus on his book again instead of the idea of people making blogs dedicated to his dick, Chanyeol called him over to the computer. He complied, climbing off his bed and shuffling over to Chanyeol's desk even though he was feeling quite wary about what he was about to be shown.

“Problem solved!” Chanyeol beamed, clapping his hands delightedly and moving so Baekhyun could see the screen, “I made one!”

Baekhyun leaned over to see the words running across the page: fuckyeahlittlebaekhyun.

“Dammit Chanyeol! I told you not to call it that!”



baekhyun l'officiel
Comments 
1st-Sep-2012 12:04 am (UTC)
spot for mywookness :)
17th-Sep-2012 12:22 am (UTC)
OMG
cracky baekyeol.
ohhhh baekhyunnie, it's ok~
even though little baekhyun was pretty prominent in mama
just sayin'.
lol. ilu chanyeol.
1st-Sep-2012 12:04 am (UTC)
spot for lishalishalisha b/c she likes stupid stuff. idk.
1st-Sep-2012 01:56 am (UTC)
AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OHMYGAD DYING LAUGHING HERE.
You need to write MORE things you think of at 2am

I'm coming back later to quote things!
1st-Sep-2012 12:59 am (UTC)
Omfg this was so hilariously adorable!!! ^^ little baekhyun ♥ >_<
BAEKHYUN AND ALL HIS BEAUTIFUL PARTS!!!! 8D
1st-Sep-2012 02:42 am (UTC)
haha thank you!
i'm glad you liked it! :)
and all of baekhyun is beautiful /nods
thanks for reading and commenting!
1st-Sep-2012 03:22 am (UTC)
OH, MY GOSH. WHAT IS THIS. LOLOLOLOL.

Third, calling it little Baekhyun implies that it is little when clearly- okay, I'm going to stop there.
1st-Sep-2012 03:48 am (UTC)
lmao i have no idea what this is XD
haha good point! so there are definitely three good reasons not to call it that lmao
thanks for reading and commenting!
1st-Sep-2012 04:25 am (UTC)
omg what? XD
aww poor baekhyun
lol chanyeol would do that XD
too cute and adorable
and oh so silly XD
1st-Sep-2012 07:19 am (UTC)
haha 'omg what' was pretty much my reaction to writing this XD
i'm glad you liked it though!
and i definitely think that chanyeol would do that lol
thanks for reading and commenting!
1st-Sep-2012 06:49 am (UTC)
LOL... xD

BaekYeol couple is too cute ^^

<333333

1st-Sep-2012 07:18 am (UTC)
i think so too!
thanks for reading and commenting!
1st-Sep-2012 07:31 am (UTC)
omg. Crying because fuckyeahlittlebaekhyun. And I just checked out the tumblr for it. I can'tttt

Please write more, I really liked this. 8D

1st-Sep-2012 07:43 am (UTC)
haha i don't think it actually exists? chanyeol needs to get cracking
i'm so glad you liked it!
thanks for reading and commenting!
2nd-Sep-2012 04:03 am (UTC)
fuckyeahlittlebaekhyun ^____^

clever chanyeol is cleveeer <3
2nd-Sep-2012 04:26 am (UTC)
i'm sure he'd agree that he's clever lol
thanks for reading and commenting!
2nd-Sep-2012 06:13 am (UTC)
“Dammit Chanyeol! I told you not to call it that!” OH MY GOD XDD
This was so funny, write more 2am things! Please!
2nd-Sep-2012 06:32 am (UTC)
haha i'm glad you liked it!
i'm a little afraid of the things i come up with at 2 in the morning, but i will stay open to the possibility lol
thanks for reading and commenting!

p.s. love your bacon icon ^^
2nd-Sep-2012 03:22 pm (UTC)
Haha is it sad that I actually tried to look for this blog on tumblr xD so embarrassing. This story was so cute and funny! I loved the last line where baekhyun was like: Damnit chanyeol! I told you to stop calling it that! It was so cute.
2nd-Sep-2012 06:47 pm (UTC)
haha hopefully this will inspire someone to make a blog! though perhaps with a different name lol
i'm glad you liked it!
thanks for reading and commenting!
10th-Sep-2012 05:41 pm (UTC)
i bet my left leg that every person who read this immediately checks whether fuckyeahlittlebaekhyun actually exists. just like i did.
and to my pleasure there really exists such a blog omg XDDD
did you create it or was it already there before you published this or made another reader this for you?
anyway funny story; i do feel a bit sorry for baekhyun... XD
11th-Sep-2012 07:02 am (UTC)
it exists? last i heard it didn't haha. so i guess someone decided to make one!
i feel as though i've raised awareness you're welcome, baekhyun XD
i'm glad you enjoyed it!
thanks for reading and commenting!
19th-Jan-2013 05:15 am (UTC)
Left me smiling!
19th-Jan-2013 05:23 am (UTC)
haha i'm glad!
thanks for reading and commenting!
(Deleted comment)
2nd-Feb-2013 01:06 am (UTC)
there is! someone made one after reading this! idk who did it, but they made my life XD
i'm glad you liked this!
and i would be pissed if i was baekhyun too lmao
thanks for reading and commenting!
28th-Mar-2013 11:31 am (UTC)
Lmao little Baekhyun.
28th-Mar-2013 11:49 am (UTC)
it really is a strange thing to call it tbh XD
thanks for reading and commenting! ^^
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