Pairing: none, Onew-centric
Genre(s): a little angst, but barely...it's just contemplative
Summary: Onew finds comfort in an unexpected place.
a/n: inspired by my experience taking this
Onew wandered down the bumpy asphalt road, trying to keep an eye on the cracks because, knowing him, he’d manage to trip and fall while he was zoning out. And that was exactly what he was doing: zoning out. Not about anything in particular. He was just letting his mind wander, wafting over aimless thoughts much like the cool breeze that was gently combing through his hair and the leaves on the trees over-hanging the road- their leaves filtering the late afternoon sun and creating a dreamy effect that was sure to be felt by anyone walking beneath them.
He stopped to read a gravestone, bending over and squinting at the engraving on the marble. It was a husband and wife, presumably, except the wife only had a date of birth, indicating that she was still alive. But her husband had been dead for the past 22 years. The fact saddened him.
She’d had to go this time without him, knowing that her name was engraved on a piece of stone, just waiting- waiting for her to die too. It was a morbid thought, he knew, so he quickly stood up and continued walking. Morbidity wasn’t his aim for the day.
Truthfully, he’d just needed to clear his head. He was feeling so much pressure lately and it was really starting to get to him. It was to the point that, while all he wanted was a break, whenever he had free time, he had no idea what to do with himself. And then his brain would start to work, supplying him but nothing but worries and fears. So he just worked more. And the whole cycle continued on.
He’d been unsure of what to do with his free afternoon that day- contemplating just taking a nap or lying on the couch like a lump. But he’d needed to move, so he had- taking a short walk to the cemetery near his home.
He knew it was a weird thing to do. Obviously. Normal people didn’t take quiet strolls in the cemetery in their free time. Or, if they did, they knew someone buried in said cemetery and they’d end their walk with a visit to their loved one’s grave.
But Onew didn’t know a single person buried here. Yet here he was. And it wasn’t his first visit either.
He wasn’t a morbid person. He didn’t like to contemplate death and he’d grimace when he heard about a life-ending tragedy on the news. But he somehow found the cemetery soothing. And he wasn’t about to dismiss something that calmed his frazzled nerves. Even if it was weird.
One thing that he liked about it was that it was always peaceful. Usually, he was the only one there, and when he wasn’t, whoever else was there was very quiet. Cemeteries were places of solace and respect and even the most immature teenagers tended not to break those unspoken rules. Except on occasional summer nights and Onew had learned not to venture out on said nights long ago.
Another thing he found comforting, as macabre as it sounded even in his head, was that while he was alone, he didn’t feel
alone. Truthfully, the cemetery was full of people. But they weren’t going to tell him that he had to get some more work done and they weren’t going to constantly bug him when he was trying to catch a quiet moment.
He didn’t think that he believed in ghosts and he wasn’t someone who had any definite thoughts on the afterlife, but he couldn’t help but feel a comforting presence when he was in the cemetery. It was like there was a spirit of humanity hovering there that clung to the trees, but it wasn’t oppressive or threatening. And it combined with the spirit of nature and it just led Onew to feel in tune with himself and the rest of the world somehow.
He took a deep breath of the fresh air and looked up ahead at the gates that lead onto the sidewalk of a residential neighborhood. When he passed through the threshold, he’d return to real life- he’d go back to his
life. And as much as he was tempted to turn around and make another lap through the greenery and gravestones, he knew that he didn’t belong here. Now wasn’t the time for him and he had to face his reality. But the thought that he could return at will to gather his thoughts any time he needed to was comforting.
So he walked through the gates and squinted when the sun shone into his eyes. But he kept walking, feeling serenity clinging to his clothes and gently combing through his hair.a/n: i'm sorry i've been so absent lately. school has been intense and i've just been overwhelmed. plus, i've been going through some personal stuff, but i really want to get my shit together so i can go back to posting with more frequency.
for those of you reading my
Eternity chaptered fic, i have not abandoned it! i have a pretty good idea of where the story is going, so i will update that as soon as i can get my brain to work correctly.
i've also been working on a smutty Jongyu for a while, so hopefully i will get that up soon as well.
thank you to those of you who haven't given up on me! i will try to post more for you soon. you guys are my motivation to write ♥