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The Garden of Earthly Delights
My Mind Is My Best Friend And My Worst Enemy
Fruit and Masturbation (JongKey) 
13th-Feb-2011 02:42 am
Title: Fruit and Masturbation
Pairing: friendship!JongKey
Rating: R
Genre(s): humor, crack
Word Count: 254
Summary: Jonghyun ponders some of the natural wonders.

----------------------------

    “Ya know, masturbation and fruit are kind of the same,” Jonghyun mused, pulling Kibum’s attention from the magazine he was reading.
    “Huh?” he asked, sounding both disinterested and as though he was calling the other crazy. He was very good at lacing his true meaning behind a single word. Jonghyun ignored the tone.
    “They’re both pretty amazing if you think about it,” he went on, taking another large bite of his apple, “I mean, fruit. It just grows. No one has to make it or produce it or anything. It just grows and it tastes good.”
    “Dare I ask how this relates to masturbation?”
    “Well, you can just stick your hand down your pants and it feels amazing and it releases like a bajillion endorphins or something.” Jonghyun bit into the apple again and Kibum took a moment to appreciate the fact that he was around for the fruit bit and not the masturbation bit.
    “I’m sorry, but I’m still not quite seeing the connection,” Kibum deadpanned, going back to his magazine.
    “They’re just both so simple,” Jonghyun gushed, “It’s like, they’re too good to be true.”
    Kibum looked up and stared at the other for a moment.
    “Do you hear yourself when you talk?” he finally asked.
    Jonghyun just pouted and got up to throw the apple core into the garbage can before he disappeared down the hall.
    Kibum heard a door shut and was again thankful for the fact that he had only been present for the fruit part of that hypothesis.

jonghyun hat
Comments 
13th-Feb-2011 08:42 am (UTC)
spot for ellie_eunnie
13th-Feb-2011 08:43 am (UTC)
spot for l2inl2in <3
13th-Feb-2011 08:43 am (UTC)
spot for onewlurver :)
13th-Feb-2011 08:43 am (UTC)
spot for k_pop4life :D
13th-Feb-2011 03:34 pm (UTC)
OH god! Hahahahaha How does he come up with this type of things will never fail to amaze me! 
Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos

Wonderful little piece to wake up to! 

Key don't deny you don't want to see Jonghyun masturbating! You and I both know you want it! 
Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos
13th-Feb-2011 08:49 am (UTC)
Haha, that was really funny XD
I see the connection, it all comes down to masturbation and fruit just being good stuff, lol

Glad I came across your writing. I'll definitely check out some more^^
13th-Feb-2011 08:57 am (UTC)
thank you!
i'm glad you liked it and that you got the connection XD
thanks for reading and commenting!
13th-Feb-2011 09:04 am (UTC)
LOL. This is adorable.

...Seriously, why is clueless pervert Jjong so endearing? haha XD

...and Key would totally say "huh" like that XD I can hear it so clearly in my head ♥
13th-Feb-2011 09:10 am (UTC)
haha thank you!
i think any kind of clueless Jjong is endearing. lol.
and Key definitely would.
thanks for reading and commenting!
13th-Feb-2011 10:34 am (UTC)
ahahahahhaaa!!!
omoo whats this??
ahahahaa~
jjong omg im speachless >.<
13th-Feb-2011 06:38 pm (UTC)
haha. i'm glad that you liked it!
thanks for reading and commenting!
13th-Feb-2011 12:48 pm (UTC)
Ahahahahaha!! Ok, so I actually think this conversation may have taken place IRL. It's just too perfect. Lol.


*dies of laughter*
13th-Feb-2011 06:39 pm (UTC)
haha. i would love if this really happened XD
i'm glad that you liked it!
thanks for reading and commenting!
13th-Feb-2011 07:04 pm (UTC)
LOL. Literally.

"Kibum heard a door shut and was again thankful for the fact that he had only been present for the fruit part of that hypothesis."

I love the way your brain works.
13th-Feb-2011 07:09 pm (UTC)
haha. i'm glad you liked this!
but liking how my brain works is a strange conclusion to arrive at after reading this. lmao.
thanks for reading and commenting!
13th-Feb-2011 07:28 pm (UTC)
I totally agree with Jonghyun XD

though it's nicer when someone helps it grow *W*
13th-Feb-2011 07:48 pm (UTC)
You went there. You really went there.

Awesome.
15th-Feb-2011 02:37 pm (UTC)
oh no. my favorite fruit is apple, and now after reading this... everytime I will eat an apple, it will remind me of your fic. lols. :))
15th-Feb-2011 06:26 pm (UTC)
haha. sorry for ruining apple for you.
thanks for reading and commenting!
(Deleted comment)
16th-Feb-2011 08:00 pm (UTC)
lol. i can as well XD
thanks for reading and commenting!
17th-Feb-2011 08:46 pm (UTC)
I loved this so much.
It made me smile at my computer screen like a douche for 10 minutes as I re-read it three times.
(People just wouldn't let me read enjoy it, I kept getting distracted :|)

“They’re just both so simple,” Jonghyun gushed, “It’s like, they’re too good to be true.”
Kibum looked up and stared at the other for a moment.
“Do you hear yourself when you talk?” he finally asked.
Jonghyun just pouted and got up to throw the apple core into the garbage can before he disappeared down the hall.


Kekekeek~ I loved this ♥
18th-Feb-2011 12:50 am (UTC)
thank you!
i'm glad that you liked it! sorry that people kept distracting you though. lol. i hate when that happens.
thanks for reading and commenting!
27th-Feb-2011 02:09 pm (UTC)
This was awesome hihihihihi. Just awesome.
27th-Feb-2011 05:21 pm (UTC)
thanks
i'm glad you liked it!
thanks for reading and commenting!
10th-Mar-2011 11:30 pm (UTC)
Lol, totally saving this. It was the shortest, funniest thing I have ever read. Thank you. XD
11th-Mar-2011 12:45 am (UTC)
haha thanks so much!
i'm so glad that you thought it was funny!
thanks for reading and commenting!
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