Warning(s): girl!Sungmin, girl!Kyuhyun, girl!Donghae, girl!Ryeowook, girl!Jaejoong
Summary: Sungmin has always been the girl who gets all the boys. But a series of events leads here to question everything she thinks she knows.
a/n: I know very little about sororities. I asked my friend about rush and pledging and this is a very simplified version that I changed around to fit the time line of the story. So...this is all very inaccurate!
Sungmin ran her slippery hands over her bronzed thighs, rubbing the sun tan lotion into her skin. The sun was beating down on her body as she leaned back on her towel, eyes closing behind her sunglasses. Though the illusion of perhaps being on a sandy beach was ruined by the yells of a group of boys playing Frisbee on the lawn of the frat house next door and the chatter of students as they passed by on the sidewalk.
“Are you going to the party tomorrow night?” came the voice from her right.
Sungmin cracked an eye open to glance over at her best friend, also clad in a bikini, who was holding her phone up- the object of it casting a shadow over her eyes.
“Of course I'm going” she said, fingers carding through her platinum, flat-ironed hair, “This week has been so stressful. I need to relax.”
“Good,” Donghae replied, setting her phone down on the grass next to her, “Because I hear that Siwon is coming.”
“I still haven't met him,” she pointed out, “How do I know that I actually care if he's coming?”
“Okay, that made almost no sense,” Donghae laughed, “But believe me,” she insisted, “You care.”
“If he's so great, why don't you go for him?” she challenged, suspicious that there was a reason that this Siwon was a cast off of her friend's.
“Well, Kibum and I might be going out, you know...after last weekend?” Donghae explained, purposefully keeping her eyes closed so as not to see Sungmin's reaction.
“You told me that nothing happened last weekend!” she screeched, scandalized.
“Tell me,” she insisted, sitting up and poking her friend in the shoulder until she received a glare for her trouble.
“Fine,” Donghae relented, sitting up and pushing Sungmin's intrusive finger away from her arm, “But not here,” she motioned subtly with her head at the group of frat guys who were pretending not to stare at them.
“Alright, alright,” Sungmin agreed with a grin, “Twenty more minutes and then we go for coffee?”
Donghae was right- he was absolutely gorgeous, all tan skin, toned biceps, and broad shoulders. Siwon was definitely the type of guy that she usually went for. Donghae knows her. She knows as well as Sungmin does that she would land this guy by the end of the night.
And as fucked up as it may seem, the driving force behind Sungmin's desire to hook up with him was almost more because she had a reputation to maintain. She had to show everyone that she could have him. And that, only when she was finished with him, can they have a shot.
She never meant to put this kind of pressure on herself, honestly. But after she'd managed to capture the hearts of the majority of the most popular guys on campus, she felt like it was expected of her to keep it up. And not long after, people really did expect it from her. She could see them watching and waiting for her to make her move on Siwon. If she didn't, it would look like she was afraid that she'd be rejected. Which she definitely was not.
Despite the fact that she had never seen Siwon before and that he probably hadn't ever seen her either, she wasn't worried. He was standing with a group of guys from the frat he'd apparently just joined- the group of them tossing back shots and laughing uproariously about something or other that, most likely, wasn't funny in the slightest. She could tell that he was getting pretty drunk. Sungmin knew that she had to make her move soon.
Not that she waited for the guys she went after to be drunk- she was not the type of girl that guys were embarrassed to wake up next to the next morning. In fact, she preferred that they be pretty close to sober. But the idiot had gotten drunk before she even got to the party. And it's not like Sungmin could have just jumped on him the second she walked in. So, knowing that he was only going to get drunker, she decided to make her way over to him.
Honestly, yes, Sungmin had a couple drinks in her. But she'd spaced them out over the course of two hours and she certainly hadn't been pounding shots. She was just slightly tipsy. Because she'd be damned if she was ever that girl who was sobbing hysterically in the middle of the party who would be, no doubt, the one who managed to puke all over the bathroom later in the night. She might like parties and hooking up, but she tried to maintain some semblance of class.
“Hey Heechul,” Sungmin smiled, sidling up to one of her good friends who was in the group drinking with Siwon.
“Hi Sungmin,” he greeted her, smile sharp and eyes knowing as he slid an arm easily around her waist. He was one of the few good-looking guys on campus that she'd never hooked up with. Why? Well, let's just say that the other attractive guys that hadn't shown interest in her have ended up in his bed at one point or another. Actually, some of the ones who did flirt with her have also ended up with him. But that's a different issue entirely.
“New pledge?” she asked casually as though she only had a passing interest.
“Oh right,” Heechul nodded, playing along, “Siwon?” he smacked him on the arm, “This is my good friend, Sungmin.”
“Nice to meet you, Sungmin,” Siwon said, extending his right hand in politeness. The whole gentleman-thing was kind of ruined though by the way his words were slightly slurred. Still. She gave him credit for trying.
“Nice to meet you too,” she replied, taking his hand and making sure that her fingers slid over his wrist lightly before pulling away, “How are you enjoying frat life so far?”
“It's a lot of fun,” he said, smiling wide and showing off his dimples, “Are you in a sorority?”
“Yep, right next door,” she told him, gesturing in the direction of her house as she took a step closer and tilted her head up to maintain eye contact.
She watched as he stepped away from the pack of boys, body language practically begging her to follow him to the drinks table.
“Lucky bitch,” Heechul hissed in her ear as she stepped away from the cluster of guys to follow Siwon. Sungmin just winked at Heechul over her shoulder before she fell into step with Siwon, noting the way his knuckles dragged over her hip through the satin of her dress.
She had him.
"Ryeowook!" Sungmin squealed, throwing herself at her childhood friend and embracing her.
Ryeowook and Sungmin had been friends since they were twelve years old, different as they were. Physically, Ryeowook was smaller than Sungmin. She was smaller than most people actually- petite in every sense of the word with thin arms and delicate bone structure.
And while Sungmin was outgoing, Ryeowook was extremely shy and soft spoken. Her eyes naturally were downcast when she spoke to someone that she didn't know and her cheeks would bloom pink when she was embarrassed, which was often.
She certainly didn't share Sungmin's love of parties and endless boys. Still though, Sungmin was sure that Ryeowook understood her better than anyone.
"What's the matter?" Ryeowook asked as they pulled back from the hug.
"What do you mean?" Sungmin lied, keeping her smile carefully in place.
Ryeowook shot her a look and Sungmin sighed in resignation, sitting down next to Ryeowook in a booth in their favorite restaurant in their hometown. They were both home for the weekend which meant that they had to have their traditional catch-up over lunch.
“Alright,” Sungmin relented, “I'm kind of having a problem. Well, not a problem exactly. I just...I'm kind of bothered by something.”
Ryeowook nodded to urge Sungmin to continue.
“I knew that something was off when I met with Donghae for coffee last weekend. She's in my sorority, remember? Anyway, we just wanted to get out of the house for a bit to dish about the party two days ago. We always do that, you know? It's tradition. And I've never thought too much about our conversations afterward because it's always who hooked up with whom, who ended up passing out, whose dress was the ugliest. The usual. Except that, this time, she started going on and on about the amazing night that she had with the guy she's seeing.”
“Do you not like him?” Ryeowook when Sungmin paused.
“No, I like him,” she told her, “And it's not like he's the first guy that she's dated or that it's the first time that I've gotten a play by play of her sex life. But the way that she sounded...it was different. It was like she was recounting from a romance novel or a movie with an extremely unrealistic, happy ending. If movies like that ever have explicit sex scenes in them too. If she was a cartoon, her eyes would have been replaced by pink hearts. It was almost gross.”
Ryeowook giggled behind her hand at Sungmin's description before the other girl got suddenly serious.
“Except that it got me to thinking- I've never felt like that. I have never been so smitten with someone. I have never once used the word 'magical' to describe sex. Not once.
And I supposed that maybe I'm not the type to think of sex as anything but what it it is. Certainly not magical, anyway. But shouldn't I be able to relate to how she's feeling at least a little? I mean, it's not like I went home alone on Saturday; I was with a very charming, handsome pre-med guy. He was every girls dream: chiseled abs, perfect hair, dimples. But I don't feel anything for him. I had fun I guess. He's a nice guy, obviously attractive, and he's better in bed than most of my hook-ups. But I don't want to date him. I got him and now I'm pretty much done. That's not normal, right?” Sungmin finished, looking at Ryeowook pleadingly.
“I...I don't know. Maybe he's just not the right guy?”
“I know that, if this really was a movie, this would be the part where the main female character, who is not me, let's face it- the female lead is always the underdog, the nerd who takes off her glasses and is suddenly gorgeous, complains to her friend that I'm just a slut. Am I?” Sungmin asked and then went on without waiting for an answer, “I don't feel like a slut. And is that any excuse not to be feeling anything for the guys that I'm having sex with?”
“You know that I don't have experience with...sleeping around,” Ryeowook flushed, “But I don't think you're a slut. And maybe you just haven't come across that one guy who is going to make you feel that way.”
“Thanks, Wookie,” she said, smiling at her friend graciously, “But you know what the most screwed up thing is? I don't even feel like looking for the right guy now.”
“That's not screwed up,” Ryeowook assured her, “Maybe it just means that you should take a break from guys for a while. Until you are able to gather your thoughts.”
“You're right,” Sungmin grinned, brightening up considerably, “Now enough about me and my problems. How is that bass player you told me about? Yesung was it?”
Ryeowook couldn't hide the blush that covered her cheeks.
“You what?” Dongahe asked the following Saturday, shocked.
“I said I don't really feel like going out tonight,” Sungmin reiterated.
“Are you dying?” Donghae asked her, brows furrowing as she walked over and placed her hand on Sungmin's forehead to check for a fever.
“No, I'me not dying,” Sungmin laughed, “I just would rather relax at home tonight.”
Donghae didn't look convinced.
“I'm just tired,” Sungmin assured her, “And besides, rush starts next weekend so you know we'll be extra busy. You'll be fine without me for one night,” she teased.
“God, move over,” Kyuhyun complaiend, pushing at her roommate's torso with her sock-covered feet.
“Alright, but only because you called me by name,” Changmin quipped, smirking as he scooted over on the couch.
“You're a pain,” Kyuhyun griped, though she couldn't help the quirk of her lips.
“A pain who kicks your ass at Call of Duty,” Changmin gloated, setting down his controller in triumph.
“Whatever,” Kyuhyun rolled her eyes, “You know that I completely own you at Counter-Strike.”
“Oh please,” Changmin scoffed, “You wish.”
“Wanna bet?” Kyuhyun challenged, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
“You're on. And I know just what I want if I win,” Changmin said, smiling in a way that had Kyuhyun nervous.
“What?” she asked, trying not to show any weakness. He was going down.
“If I win, you have to pledge for Pi Beta Phi,” he said, grinning.
“What? Are you insane?”
“Yep,” he smiled smugly.
“Why do you even want me to? Just to laugh at me and torture me?”
“Well...there's this girl in my calc class and she's in Pi Beta Phi,” he admitted, cocky demeanor gone, “And I figured that if you were in the sorority too, then you could introduce me?”
“That's retarded,” Kyuhyun told him, deadpan.
“Don't you know any girls who are already in the sorority so you don't have to torture your most treasured friend?”
“Not really...” he sighed.
“Who's the girl anyway?”
“Kim Jaejoong?” Kyuhyun exclaimed, doubling over laughing, “Even if I was her best friend, you'd never stand a chance with someone like her!”
“You're really mean, Kyu,” Changmin pouted.
“Oh come on. You and I both know that she's missing out,” Kyuhyun cooed, teasingly pinching Changmin's cheek until he slapped her hand away, “You're brilliant and tall and make more sarcastic comments in one day than most people make in an entire lifetime. But she's Kim Jaejoong.”
“I know,” he sighed, “But you putting in a good word would up my chances at least.”
“Fine, but what do I get if, I mean when, win?”
“I'll do the dishes for a month,” Changmin immediately told her.
“I'm gonna need more than that.”
“And I'll buy you the new Assassin’s Creed game.”
Kyuhyun considered him for a moment before she stuck her hand out.
Changmin grinned widely, eyes going mismatched as he confidently shook her hand.
“I'm judging you a little for already having all that planned out in your mind,” Kyuhyun added as she got up to retrieve her laptop from her bedroom.
Changmin threw a pillow at her back.
Kyuhyun flashed back to the last five seconds of the Counter-Strike game with Changmin. She'd been so close. So close to beating him. But at the last second, he'd appeared from around the corner and shot her.
And now she was following a group of giggling, pastel wearing girls into the Pi Beta Phi house. She felt like they were taunting her for her horrendous defeat that landed here, in the middle of the sorority's living room surrounded by other potential new members.
She hated her life.
Except really, it would be more effective to hate Changmin who had made her follow through- who had insisted that she wear a dress and loosely curl her brown hair so it bounced when she walked. He said it would make her fit in more and up her chances of getting chosen. Only that was pretty much the last thing she wanted.
Fuck you, she texted to him right before one of the sorority girls stood up and told everyone to put their phones on silent so as not to disrupt the party. Kyuhyun wrinkled her nose, but did as she was told, tucking it into her leather purse and turning her attention to the group of girls standing on the landing of the staircase, obviously getting ready to speak.
“Welcome to Pi Beta Phi's rush party!” one girl announced, eliciting a round of applause from the excited audience. Kyuhyun clapped silently once and went back to gripping her purse strap, “Tonight will be pretty informal. You just have to sign in over there if you haven't already and then just mingle! We'll be moving around throughout the night and trying to talk to as many of you as we can! Then we'll email you tomorrow to let you know if you made the first cut! The girls who have will then come back tomorrow night so we can get to know them better and then we'll bid for who we like on Sunday. Good luck everyone and have fun!”
The audience clapped again and Kyuhyun felt nauseous. How was she going to get through this without making an idiot of herself? She really wasn't the sorority type and she feared that would become painfully obvious as soon as she began talking to anyone.
“Hi! I didn't know you were thinking of joining!”
Kyuhyun turned to find Donghae, a girl in one of her classes, grinning widely at her.
“It was kind of a last minute decision,” she replied, smiling politely.
Donghae was a bit of a flake, but a genuinely nice girl. Kyuhyun had actually forgotten that she was in this sorority.
“Well I'm glad that you decided to come tonight. It'll be really fun!” Donghae told her. Kyuhyun found that the other girl sounded truly happy that she was there and it made her relax a bit. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.
Out of habit, Kyuhyun checked her email when she woke up the next day (at 12:30 in the afternoon) and almost fell out of her desk chair when she saw that she'd made the first cut. They actually liked her?
She hadn't been expecting to even have a shot and had actually felt bad when she told Changmin that she hadn't been able to put a good word for him to Jaejoong the night before, assuming that she wouldn't have another opportunity. But apparently she'd be back at the Pi Beta Phi house that night.
“Fuck,” she cursed. There was no way she was curling her hair again.
Sungmin smiled as she looked into the faces of the prospective new members. Their attention was drawn to one of the senior members of the sorority as she explained that they would each be spending the entire evening with just one sorority member in order to have a more intimate conversation.
She had always loved rush. It was a great way to meet new people and to ensure that the sorority would continue to be a success year after year. She'd had a great time the night before- meeting at least ten new girls. She looked forward to being able to really get to know someone tonight.
“Go talk to Kyuhyun,” Donghae hissed in her ear as the senior ended her introduction.
“Which one is she?”
“She's over there in the purple sweater and black skirt. She'd got her hair in a ponytail,” Donghae told her, gesturing to a girl who looked a bit uncomfortable, “She's in my English class and she's really nice.”
Sungmin agreed and made her way over to the taller girl.
“Hi! Kyuhyun-ssi?” Sungmin greeted her, “I'm Sungmin.”
“Nice to meet you,” Kyuhyun replied, smiling timidly.
“Let's go talk in the other living room,” Sungmin said cheerfully, leading her into another room where there were already a couple pairs of girls conversing. Sungmin sat on the window seat and beckoned for Kyuhyun to join her.
Immediately she could tell that Kyuhyun was different than the other girls. She didn't immediately start rambling about how great she thought Pi Beta Phi was. She didn't look at Sungmin with big, eager eyes like she was ready to absorb every single thing that came from her lips. She didn't spew forth endless questions about sorority life or name-drop other girls that she knew. Instead she sat calmly beside her, regarding her carefully before glancing around the room nervously.
“I never knew the house was so big,” she said, tugging at the hem of her skirt.
Sungmin smiled, wanting Kyuhyun to feel comfortable, “Yeah it seems really big when most of the girls are upstairs in their rooms or at class. But it's nice when we hold parties.”
Kyuhyun nodded, teeth pressing into her full lower lip.
“Donghae said that you're in her English class,” Sungmin said watching Kyuhyun shift on the padded bench.
“Yeah,” Kyuhyun affirmed, “She's nice.”
“Not very good at English though,” Sungmin joked and Kyuhyun laughed, posture immediately becoming less stiff.
Sungmin grinned, happy to see the other girl more comfortable.
Throughout the next couple of hours, Sungmin learned that Kyuhyun currently lived with her best friend who was a guy, that she loved to play video games more than anything else, that singing came in a very close second, and that she actually had a biting wit that made Sungmin laugh until there were tears in her eyes once she was more relaxed.
And while someone like Kyuhyun would usually not be considered for the sorority, there was something about Kyuhyun that drew Sungmin in. Something that made her feel like it would be well worth her while to get to know Kyuhyun more and get the other girl to let her guard down a little.
Which was why Sungmin insisted that they invite Kyuhyun to join the sorority. And with Donghae's testament, the rest of the girls agreed.
“I can't believe you still haven't talked to Jaejoong for me,” Changmin complained as he scarfed down some leftover takeout.
“I only got to talk to one girl last night,” Kyuhyun explained, padding around the kitchen in her sweats while she made herself some coffee.
Today was the day when she'd find out if she would be invited to join the sorority, though she wasn't expecting much. She hadn't tried to sound like the type of girl who would be at home at Pi Beta Phi when she had talked to Sungmin the night before. And though she had had a lot of fun talking to the other girl, she knew that Sungmin would have to tell the other girls that unless they wanted a girl who would spend all her time gaming in her room, they probably shouldn't bid for her.
“You should have said that you wanted to talk to Jaejoong,” Changmin said through a mouthful of food.
“And then spent two hours talking about you? That wouldn't have been awkward at all,” Kyuhyun snorted.
“Well, not the entire two hours,” Changmin defended, “Who'd you talk to anyway?”
“I don't think I know her,” Changmin said.
“She was really nice, actually,” Kyuhyun told him, “I had a lot of fun talking to her. She laughed at my jokes, so that's always a good thing. And she's really pretty too. Not super fake looking like a lot of them. She's a little shorter than me and she's got blonde hair and big brown eyes. And she's got the kind of lips that are perfectly shaped. Like girls in makeup ads.”
Changmin smirked at her.
“You like her, don't you?”
“What?” Kyuhyun rolled her eyes, “I do not.”
“Imagine, you liking a sorority girl! I never thought I'd see the day,” he teased.
“You're one to talk,” she muttered, busying herself with pouring herself a cup of coffee.
Just then her phone rang, interrupting Changmin's loud laughter.
“Hello?” she answered, not having recognized the number on the read-out.
“Kyuhyun?” the voice said.
“Yes? This is she.”
“Hi! It's Sungmin,” said the voice brightly.
Kyuhyun nearly choked on her own spit in surprise. Did they call to tell you that they didn't want you?
“Hi Sungmin,” she managed, glaring when Changmin raised his eyebrows and smirked at her.
“I'm just calling to let you know that we'd really like it if you joined our sorority!”
“You what?” Kyuhyun croaked, mouth hanging open in shock.
“Um...” Sungmin sounded a bit unsure, “If you want to of course,” she amended.
“No it's not that,” Kyuhyun quickly said, “I- I just didn't expect it. That's all. Sorry.”
“It's okay,” Sungmin chirped, “But I had so much fun talking to you last night! I really hope you decide to join!”
“I-” Kyuhyun paused.
Did she want to join? A sorority? A week ago she wouldn't even have considered it. But with Sungmin's bright voice in her ear sounding so genuinely excited...the idea of saying no seemed inconceivable.
“Really?” Sungmin exclaimed on the other end of the line, “I'm so glad!”
Kyuhyun couldn't help but smile.
“Next weekend is pledge where you'll learn more about the sorority and officially join,” Sungmin told her, “It takes place at the house on Friday night starting at 7. So I'll see you then!”
Kyuhyun's mind was spinning after she hung up. She was in a sorority. She was in a sorority. And even worse, Changmin was right.
She had a crush on Sungmin.
“Shut up,” she said before Changmin could even open his mouth.
“Hello?” Sungmin answered her cell phone.
“Sungmin? It's Siwon.”
“Oh!” Sungmin started, shocked to be hearing from him after nearly two and a half weeks since their night together. Especially since she hadn't even given him her number, “How are you?”
“I'm pretty good,” Siwon said, “How about you? I didn't see you at any parties last weekend.”
“Yeah, I just wanted to take it easy since rush was just this past weekend,” she explained. Why was he calling her? And he could have just texted her anyway. Though, considering the fact that Siwon seemed to always strive to be a perfect gentleman, she should be grateful that he hadn't shown up at her door with roses or something.
“How was rush?” he asked.
“It was good. Some really nice girls are joining this year,” she told him, getting antsy to get off the phone. She had never intended to start anything with him. And since she'd begun to question why she never really enjoyed her time with the men she hooked up with, she was even less eager to have him pursue her.
“I'm glad to hear that,” he said, sounding so damn genuine that Sungmin wanted to bang her head against her desk. If he was a douche, she wouldn't feel so badly about wanting to get off the phone as quickly as possible.
“Yeah...” she replied vaguely.
“I was wondering if you would be interested in going out to dinner some time this week.”
Sungmin bit the inside of her cheek, trying to formulate the right thing to say. Normally, she'd probably give in and go. But the weird feeling that had been gnawing at her for the past two weeks wouldn't allow that.
“I don't think now is really the right time for me to be getting involved with anyone...” she tried, guilt welling up in her chest.
“Oh, I see,” Siwon said, obviously disappointed.
“I'm really sorry, Siwon,” she apologized, meaning it, “You're a really great guy and you deserve someone who is really going to be able to give you all of their attention.”
“I understand,” he said, still the perfect gentleman, “I'll see you around, Sungmin.”
Sungmin frowned as she said goodbye and hung up the phone. What was wrong with her? If she didn't want to be with Siwon, then who did she want to be with? She groaned in frustration and closed her eyes, letting her head tip back only to jerk back upright when Kyuhyun's face flashed behind her closed lids as if her subconscious was answering the hypothetical question she had just asked.
Kyuhyun? What did that mean? If she wanted to be with Kyuhyun then...
Sungmin felt like she was going pass out with the way her head was spinning. She liked girls? No. It couldn't be. Girls like her weren't gay. Girls who had guys lining up for a chance with them, girls who loved high heels and the color pink, girls who loved to dress up and look completely feminine- girls like that weren't supposed to be gay. But...Sungmin couldn't help her mind from flashing through countless examples that seemed to argue the opposite- things that had happened in her life that she'd overlooked.
But the guys that she'd been with...she'd been with more guys than most of her friends combined. She couldn't be gay. Except you don't enjoy being with them, a voice in her head reminded her. It had always been more about the thrill of the chase than about the guys or really having them in the end. And she'd just ignored the fact that sex with them had never really done anything for her. Because maybe that was just how it was supposed to be.
That's not how it's supposed to be, the voice whispered, remember what Donghae said?
Sungmin took a deep breath, trying to get her brain to shut up
. Because she couldn't even begin to imagine how she could deal with this.Part 2