Warning(s): girl!Sungmin, girl!Kyuhyun, girl!Donghae, girl!Ryeowook, girl!Jaejoong
Summary: Sungmin has always been the girl who gets all the boys. But a series of events leads here to question everything she thinks she knows.
a/n: I know very little about sororities. I asked my friend about rush and pledging and this is a very simplified version that I changed around to fit the time line of the story. And I claim to know nothing about Pi Beta Phi specifically. I just needed to choose a sorority. So...this is all very inaccurate!
“Ryeowook!” Sungmin wailed into the phone when her friend answered.
“What's wrong Min?”
“I 'ave a problem, Wook,” Sungmin slurred, realizing that she'd probably had too much wine. It was her weakness. And it had seemed like a very good idea when she'd spent the last two days agonizing over her sexuality.
“Have you been drinking?” Ryeowook asked matter of factly.
“Yes,” Sungmin sighed, “But I need to talk to you.”
“Where are you?”
“In my room.”
“You're drinking alone?” Ryeowook gasped.
“I-” Sungmin tried to think of an excuse. She knew it was pretty pathetic. Especially considering that it was a Wednesday at eight pm, “I told you I have a problem!”
Ryeowook sighed, “What is it?”
“You 'member when I told you about Donghae being all mushy gushy in love?”
“And 'ow I don't wanna hook up with boys?”
“I don't wanna hook up with boys, Wook.”
“I mean ever. I don't...I don't wanna. I don't think I like 'em.”
“Sungmin,” Ryeowook said patiently, “What are you trying to say?”
“Wook, I like a girl!” she wailed.
“Sungmin, it's okay,” Ryeowook told her calmly, “It's okay if you like girls. I don't mind. And I'm sure most people won't either.”
“Why aren't you shocked or somethin'?” Sungmin demanded. She'd been prepared for more of a reaction than that.
“The possibility had crossed my mind before,” Ryeowook admitted.
“That I like girls?” Sungmin asked, shocked.
“Yeah,” Ryeowook responded as thought it was nothing, “I'm glad that you told me though.”
“You knew?” Sungmin shrieked, “Why didn't you tell me?”
“I didn't know,” she explained, “I just thought it was a possibility. Especially after you told me that you had never enjoyed being with any of the guys that you've hooked up with.”
“What do I do?”
“What do you mean? You don't have to do anything, Sungmin,” Ryeowook told her, “I mean, maybe stop hooking up with guys. But it doesn't have to completely turn your world upside down.”
“But it has!” Sungmin exclaimed, “What will everyone think? I am not the type of girl who is supposed to be gay! And what am I supposed to do about Kyuhyun?”
“You are aware how popular are, right?” Ryeowook chuckled, “There will probably be a couple of closed minded people who don't accept it, but for the most part, I think you'll be just as well-liked as before. And who is Kyuhyun?”
“Kyuhyun is...” Sungmin trailed off, feeling butterflies forming in her stomach that were too pleasant to be from the wine, “She's a new pledge. But she's not like anyone else, Wook.”
“She's the girl you like?”
“Yeah,” Sungmin admitted, feeling her cheeks flush from admitting it out loud for the first time.
“What would you do if she were a guy?” Ryeowook asked.
Sungmin buried her face in her pink pillow and groaned at the embarrassing idea of flirting shamelessly with her.
“She'll think I'm a freak,” is what she said.
“I doubt that,” Ryeowook assured her, “Just see what happens.”
“I hear she's kind of a slut,” Changmin announced when Kyuhyun arrived home from class, dropping her bag on the floor with a loud clunk.
“Sungmin,” he clarified, “I hear that she's a slut.”
Kyuhyun didn't know if she wanted to hear anymore. But she was curious. However, it didn't matter because Changmin continued anyway.
“She's slept with almost every attractive guy on campus. Except for me of course.”
Kyuhyun rolled her eyes.
“Just two weeks ago, she slept with Siwon.”
Kyuhyun fought against her traitorous mind as she pictured the two of them together, jealousy rising in her gut unbidden.
“Well, it's not like I thought I had a chance anyway...” Kyuhyun muttered, kicking off her shoes and heading toward her bedroom.
“Come play Day of Defeat with me!” Changmin called.
Kyuhyun told him to fuck off and decided that sulking in her room over a girl that she'd met only days ago was a better use of her time.
“Sungmin?” Donghae said, knocking on her door.
Donghae stepped into the room and looked at its occupant, curled up in her pink bedding with her hair pulled back and a plethora of textbooks strewn over her bedspread.
“Are you okay?” Donghae asked, “You've been spending a lot of time in your room lately.”
“I'm fine,” Sungmin replied, but Donghae frowned.
“Sungmin, seriously. What's wrong?”
Sungmin sighed and Donghae closed the door behind her before making her way across the room to perch on the bed.
“What is it?”
“Please don't hate me,” Sungmin whimpered, eyes downcast. Donghae had never seen her so nervous.
“I would never hate you.”
“You think you're what?” Donghae prompted.
“Gay. I think I'm gay,” Sungmin finally burst out.
Donghae's eyes nearly bugged out of her head and Sungmin would have laughed at her expression if she wasn't so worried about her friend being disgusted with her.
“What about all of the guys you hooked up with?” Donghae asked.
“I didn't...I just did it to do it, you know? I never enjoyed it except for the idea that I could,” she explained, “Actually, it was you talking about how amazing it is with Kibum that got me thinking. And then...” she blushed.
“I think...I like Kyuhyun,” she admitted, cheeks pink.
“That's so cute!” Donghae cooed, catching Sungmin completely by surprise.
“You guys would be so adorable together!” Donghae exclaimed.
“Well...it's not like I know how to go about getting girls so...”
“She's have to be dead not to be interested in you,” Donghae assured her.
“Does she even like girls?”
Donghae shrugged, “I don't know, but I can ask around for you.”
Sungmin smiled at Donghae, affection swelling in her chest.
“You're the best, Hae,” she said, leaning over to hug the other girl.
Maybe Ryeowook was right. Maybe it really would be okay.
You're not fun anymore, is the text that Sungmin received from Heechul when she hadn't seen him in nearly three weeks.
I'm sorry, she replied, Things have been crazy.
You had better have a good excuse, Lee Sungmin.
Um...I have to tell you something, she texted. Truthfully, she wasn't too worried about telling Heechul. Of all people, he would understand.
What is it?
Are you fucking with me?
No. Thanks for the support.
You know I support you, idiot. I just wanted to be sure that you weren't just kidding.
Thank you :)
More guys for me then ;)
Sungmin burst out laughing even though she was walking through the very public quad.
They're all yours, she told him.
But you have to come out soon! You haven't even met Hankyung yet ;)
He's an international student from China. Delicious ;)
Lol. I'll have to meet him ASAP.
Sungmin smoothed her hair down for the eighth time, glancing worriedly at herself in the mirror.
“You look fine, Sungmin,” Donghae told her, grabbing her gently by the arm and pulling her away from the mirror in her bedroom, “We're supposed to be downstairs. The pledges are already getting here.”
“Is Kyuhyun here yet?” Sungmin asked, feeling adrenaline course through her body. She'd never been so unsure of herself in her entire life. And even though Donghae had discovered through the grapevine that Kyuhyun actually was interested in girls, she had no idea how to act around her.
“I don't think so,” Donghae said, “Which is good because you have to be down there when she gets here. I told Jaejoong that you were going to be Kyuhyun's mentor.”
“Oh god,” Sungmin fretted.
“Relax!” Donghae instructed her, “Just be yourself. You can have anyone you want, remember?”
“Just because she likes girls doesn't mean she'll like me...”
“She's not dating anyone right now!” Donghae assured her, “She's fair game and as we both know, you can have anyone who's fair game.”
“I can't do this!” Sungmin wailed.
“Yes you can! Hwaiting!”
“She is going to be the death of me,” Kyuhyun announced when she returned to her apartment after pledging.
“Who is?” Changmin asked from the couch, feet propped up on the coffee table.
“Who do you think?” Kyuhyun snapped.
“Geez, no need to bite my head off.”
“Sorry,” Kyuhyun sighed, collapsing onto the couch- not caring that her silk dress was going to end up wrinkled.
“So what happened?”
“She's just gorgeous. And such a flirt!”
“There were guys there?” Changmin asked, confused.
“Who was she flirting with then?”
“Me! That's the problem!” Kyuhyun exclaimed.
“Sounds like a good thing to me,” Changmin smirked.
“She's probably like that with everyone though,” Kyuhyun complained, “And meanwhile, she's driving me insane.”
“What did she do?”
“I don't even know,” Kyuhyun groaned, slouching down into the cushions, “She just...it's like every single thing she does makes her seem irresistible. Like she tilts her head to the side slightly and looks at you with big eyes. Or she bites at her lips and runs her tongue over her bottom lip. And she always manages to find some way to touch you- on the wrist, on the waist...”
“Maybe she's doing it intentionally,” Changmin suggested, “Maybe she's flirting with you on purpose.”
“Yeah right,” Kyuhyun scoffed, stealing the remote and beginning to flip through the channels.
“Hey!” Changmin grabbed the clicker back and returned to the channel he was on, “I wouldn't be so sure, Kyu,” he said, “And I'd also get to know Jaejoong...”
Sungmin paced back and forth before she determinedly sat on her bed and picked up her cell phone. She was going to text Kyuhyun and ask her out to coffee. She had to make sure that the other girl didn't think that she was just being nice to her because she had to be. Besides, she was dying to see her. And she wanted to be able to spend time with her without the rest of the sorority.
Hey! It's Sungmin. Do you want to go get coffee? Sungmin took a deep breath and pressed send, not daring to look at her phone as she waited for a reply. When her phone vibrated a minute later, she nearly jumped out of her skin.
Sure. Today you mean?
Yeah, if you're free today.
Yeah I am.
Okay, want to meet in front of the sorority house in an hour and then we can walk across the street to the coffee shop?
Sure. I'll see you then.
See you :)
Sungmin forced herself to breathe normally. It would be fine.
Kyuhyun tried not to over-analyze why Sungmin was inviting her out for coffee, despite Changmin's teasing as she left their apartment. Sungmin obviously was just being a good mentor- checking up on her even between sorority functions. That was all, she told herself.
But that didn't stop her heart from leaping up into her throat when she saw Sungmin waiting for her outside the Pi Phi house, her blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail and her round, cherubic face devoid of makeup.
“Hi Sungmin,” she greeted, startling the shorter girl who was firing off a text.
“Hi Kyuhyun,” she grinned, cheeks flushing slightly. It's probably from the wind, Kyuhyun told herself. It was brisk, after all.
The pair set off for the coffee shop, Sungmin asking Kyuhyun how she liked the sorority and how her classes were going all the while. See? She thought to herself, She's just being a good mentor.
They ordered their coffees and sat at a table in the back of the shop, silent as they sipped their drinks.
“So...I heard Siwon is nice,” Kyuhyun blurted out before she could stop herself. She inwardly winced as Sungmin looked up sharply.
“Yeah, he's nice. Why?”
“Oh...” Kyuhyun flushed and scratched at the back of her neck, avoiding eye contact, “I just heard...you were seeing him?”
“I'm not,” Sungmin immediately said.
“He is a really good guy though,” Sungmin added, voice a bit softer.
Kyuhyun nodded, not sure what to say.
I could...introduce you,” Sungmin offered, shifting uncomfortably in her chair as she looked anywhere other than Kyuhyun's face, “If you want.”
“No,” Kyuhyun said, the word coming out a bit more forcefully than she intended and seemingly startling Sungmin, “I mean, no thank you. I'm not interested. That's not why I asked.”
They were silent again, Kyuhyun wanting the floor to split open and swallow her up. Why had she brought up Siwon? Stupid, she chided herself.
“Why did you ask?” Sungmin asked after another moment.
“You said you didn't ask about Siwon because you were interested in him,” she said, “So why did you ask?” Sungmin tilted her head, eyes wide and Kyuhyun felt her voice lodge itself in her throat.
Sungmin watched her curiously as Kyuhyun flushed and fidgeted in her seat.
“I don't know...” she choked out, “I just...wondered.”
Sungmin nodded, but she looked at her curiously, like she wasn't convinced that what Kyuhyun said was really the reason. Which, of course, it wasn't.
“My roommate wants me to set him up with Jaejoong,” she blurted out, that being the first thing that came to her mind. Maybe Changmin was right that she was socially inept.
“Huh?” Sungmin looked at her in surprise.
“Is Jaejoong seeing anyone?” Kyuhyun hoped that she spontaneously had a heart attack so she could go to the hospital and stop having this conversation.
“Changmin will be glad,” she nodded, taking a sip of coffee and mentally strangling herself.
Sungmin was staring at her like she was insane.
It wasn't far from the truth.
Sungmin dialed Kyuhyun's number for the fourth time in an hour. Why wasn't she picking up her phone?
Okay, she knew that she was being obsessive. And originally she'd just called to check up on her. In a friendly, mentor way of course. It wasn't even like she had anything important to say. But now she was absolutely determined to get Kyuhyun to answer her phone.
Why wasn't she answering?
Sungmin wasn't sure whether she was worried that something had happened to the other girl or if she was reacting to the possibility that she was being ignored, but she couldn't stop calling.
Why would Kyuhyun ignore her? What had she done wrong? Maybe Kyuhyun didn't even like her as a friend. Maybe she'd just been being nice to her because she felt like she had to.
Sungmin growled in frustration when it clicked to voice mail again and hurled her phone down on her bed.
No one ignored her! She'd never had to worry about whether or not someone would want to hear from her before. And she'd never cared so much whether someone liked her.
Sungmin grabbed the phone off her bed and dialed once again. Still no answer.
“What the hell?” she exclaimed, pacing back and forth until she began to get dizzy.
She knew that she was fucking losing it. She couldn't sit still.
“What is wrong with you?” Donghae asked, barging into her room.
“Kyuhyun isn't answering my calls!”
“What do you need her for?”
“I was just...checking up.”
“So why is it so urgent that you talk to her?” Donghae asked.
“I don't know!” Sungmin wailed, flopping back onto her bed, “I don't know, but what if she's ignoring me? Why is she ignoring me?”
“Maybe she isn't ignoring you. Maybe she just isn't near her phone,” Donghae suggested.
“Do you think she's with someone? Like on a date?”
“Sungmin? You're kind of losing it...”
“I know,” she groaned.
“I guess it's probably a good thing that no one has ever not answered their calls before...Really? No one ever ignored your call before?” Donghae demanded.
“...I really kind of hate you right now. But don't worry so much about Kyuhyun. I'm sure there's a good reason why she isn't answering.”
“I'm going over there,” Sungmin suddenly announced, getting up off the bed.
“Sungmin,” Donghae said, “Aren't you overreacting a little bit.”
“Yeah probably,” Sungmin shrugged, slipping on her coat and grabbing her purse.
Donghae sighed, “I'm not going to be able to talk you out of going over there, am I?”
“Nope,” Sungmin agreed, stepping into her shoes.
Kyuhyun and Changmin looked at each other in surprise when there was a knock on their door.
“Are you expecting someone?” Kyuhyun asked as she got up and made for the door.
“No,” Changmin shook his head, shrugging.
Kyuhyun opened the door, surprised to see Sungmin standing there, hair windswept and cheeks pink from the cold.
“Sungmin? What's going on? Did I miss something at Pi Phi?” she asked worriedly.
“I called,” Sungmin told her.
“Oh,” Kyuhyun stepped aside to let Sungmin in and went to the coffee table to check her phone.
5 missed calls.
“Sorry!” she apologized, “Changmin and I were wrapped up in playing Assassin’s Creed,” she explained, gesturing to the paused game on the TV screen.
Kyuhyun swore she saw Sungmin's cheeks flush.
“I'm Changmin,” Changmin jumped, standing up to shake Sungmin's hand.
“Hi, I'm Sungmin,” she introduced herself, charming as usual, “I can introduce you to Jaejoong if you want,” she added.
Changmin froze, cheeks blooming red.
“Kyuhyun!” he hissed.
“God, how would you like it if I told Sungmin how much you l-”
“Shut the fuck up!” she demanded, stomping on his foot and causing him to yelp.
“I won't tell her or anything,” Sungmin promised, “Don't be mad at Kyuhyun. She just asked me if Jaejoong was seeing anyone.”
Changmin nodded, still somewhat sulky, but so was Kyuhyun- glaring at him out of the corner of her eye with her arms crossed and her cheeks burning.
“Want to go for a walk or something?” Kyuhyun asked Sungmin, not entirely sure why she was asking, but she knew that she wanted to get out of the apartment before Changmin decided to do any more damage. Though at least he was starting to look a bit apologetic.
“Sure,” Sungmin agreed, waiting as Kyuhyun grabbed her shoes and purse before following her out of the apartment.
“So, why'd you call?” Kyuhyun asked when they stepped outside, walking through the campus with just the well-placed streetlights to illuminate their paths.
“Oh,” Sungmin looked down, “I was just checking in.”
“And you came over?”
Sungmin bit her lip and looked away.
“I thought you might have been ignoring me,” she admitted quietly.
“Why would I ignore you?” Kyuhyun asked, shocked.
“Sorry I didn't answer the phone,” Kyuhyun apologized again, not sure what to say. She felt guilt creeping through her, but there was something decidedly nice about knowing that Sungmin had actually cared enough to come over after she couldn't get a hold of her. And the fact that she was actually worried that Kyuhyun would be ignoring her.
“It's okay,” Sungmin smiled at her shyly and Kyuhyun felt her heart jump in her chest.
They walked in silence for a couple of minutes before Sungmin spoke.
“What was Changmin about to say? You know, before you stepped on him,” she giggled.
Kyuhyun froze, feeling her heart start to pound.
“He said you like someone?” Sungmin asked, voice light, but her tone was slightly nervous.
Kyuhyun felt her stomach twisting with nerves.
Sungmin looked up at her, eyes wide in the way that had Kyuhyun's cheeks flushing.
They weren't walking anymore- the two of them stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, facing each other.
Sungmin reached out and brushed the pads of her fingers over the inside of Kyuhyun's wrist, making her shiver. Sungmin looked up at her, a question in her eyes as her fingers moved down over her palm. Kyuhyun swallowed.
The next thing she knew, Sungmin's head had tilted to the side and her eyes fluttered closed. Kyuhyun took a deep breath before their lips touched like she was about to submerge herself in water. And that's almost how it felt with the way the blood was rushing in her ears, head spinning.
The look that Sungmin gave her when she pulled back was almost as soft as her lips.
Sungmin sipped her chardonnay, watching Donghae and Kibum stare lovingly at each other. It might have been a little nauseating, but it was mostly sweet. She smiled to herself- happy to see Donghae so content.
Sungmin looked up to see Heechul coming toward her, hanging onto a tall Chinese man who could only be Hankyung. Unless he was collecting international students. She honestly wouldn't be surprised at this point.
“Hankyung, this is Sungmin, my previous competition. Sungmin, this is Hankyung,” he leered in a way that was only attractive on him at the other man.
“Nice to meet you,” Hankyung greeted her politely, accent slightly evident. She wondered if he had any idea what he's gotten himself into with Heechul.
“Nice to meet you too,” she smiled.
“Now where is this rumored Kyuhyun?” he pressed, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
“She's over there talking to her roommate and Jaejoong.”
“Her roommate is cute,” he observed.
“Well he's into Jaejoong, so don't get any ideas,” she warned him.
“If I remember correctly, you were into Siwon just a month ago,” he reminded her.
She shook her head, laughing as he attached himself to Hankyung once again and dragged him to the makeshift dance floor.
“Hey,” Kyuhyun said, coming up beside her and letting their hips bump.
Sungmin immediately felt a smile stretch across her face. She knew she must look as ridiculous as Donghae, but she couldn't bring herself to care.
“I see that Jaejoong and Changmin are getting along,” she observed so she wouldn't blurt out some really embarrassing love declaration.
Kyuhyun smirked, glancing over at her roommate.
“At least he'll stop bugging me now.”
Sungmin laughed and tried to stop smiling like an idiot.
“He won't, however, stop gloating about how he's responsible for us being together,” she continued, “Since he's the one who almost blurted out that I liked you.”
“Well, I'm not complaining.”
“You don't live with him,” she snorted, but reached out and grasped Sungmin's hand in her own.
Sungmin grinned up at her before she leaned into her body, letting her head rest on Kyuhyun's shoulder. She watched as one of the new pledges sauntered up to one of the guys who was a member of the neighboring fraternity. She couldn't help, but picture herself in the girl's place- flipping her hair and batting her eyelashes at the eager boy. But all she could do was smile as she squeezed Kyuhyun's hand.
Finally, she was where she was meant to be.