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The Garden of Earthly Delights
My Mind Is My Best Friend And My Worst Enemy
No One Is Perfect (SHINee bandfic) 
30th-Jan-2012 01:37 am
Title: No One Is Perfect except maybe Kibum
Pairing: none
Rating: PG
Genre(s): humor
Word Count: 1,038
Summary: Spending nearly 24 hours a day together results in the inability to hide their not-so-intelligent moments.
a/n: Inspired by my life XD


    “What's twelve times five?” Kibum asked, thinking out loud, “60? Yeah.”
    “Wait, I've got this,” Jonghyun interjected, ignoring the fact that the other boy had clearly already gotten to the answer. 
    It had been quite  few years since he'd been forced to do math and he'd never memorized the twelve times table, but he could do it anyway, right? 
    “67!” he announced proudly a moment later, “Right?”
    “What?” Kibum asked, looking up from his laptop, “Five times twelve?”
    Jonghyun nodded as Minho burst into unapologetic laughter from the other side of the room, having heard the entire conversation. 
    “67?” Kibum sputtered in disbelief, “How could something multiplied by five result in anything that ended in a seven?”
    “Oh...” Jonghyun frowned, clearly trying to figure out where his error had been.
    “Hyung!” Minho choked out, having trouble breathing as he doubled over in a fresh round of laughter, “How the hell did you get 67?”
    “I multiplied five by eleven and that's 55...”
    “So then you add five,” Kibum said, watching the older boy quizzically.
    “Oh, I added twelve,” Jonghyun explained as though it was a mistake that could have happened to anyone.
    “What?” Kibum exclaimed, screeching in laughter.
    “Shut up,” Jonghyun muttered, “It made sense in my head.”
    The only response he got was hysterical laughter from the other two occupants of the room. That didn't die down for another five minutes at least.
    Perhaps it was only fair to mention that they'd been drinking. However, it was also important to note that Jinki had only had one drink and he was no lightweight. So he couldn't even really blame the alcohol at all.
    The leader was reclining on the couch, watching some variety show on TV while Taemin (who was quite a bit more intoxicated than Jinki) was munching on Oreos at the table.
    All of the sudden, Taemin looked over to see Jinki reach up for something on the table next to the arm of the couch only to somehow roll right off the couch and land in a heap on the floor.
    “Hyung?” Taemin asked, trying- and failing- to hiding his laughter, “What just happened?”
    “I don't know,” Jinki admitted, chuckling a little from his spot on the floor.
    Taemin, however, was having a really hard time containing his mirth at the situation, finally exploding into laughter as the leader remained sitting on the floor.
    “You just...fell,” he guffawed, tears leaking from his eyes from how hard he was laughing.
    “Taemin-ah,” Kibum tsked, walking into the room after hearing the commotion, “Are you five years old?”
    The maknae had no idea what the other was talking about, but he couldn't be bothered because he was still in hysterics as he watched Jinki climb sheepishly back onto the couch.
    “How did you get so much chocolate on your face?” Kibum muttered to himself, wiping the younger boy's face off with a napkin.
    It did little good though because Taemin's laughing fit didn't end there, so there were more Oreos smeared over his face as soon as the rapper left the room.
    Minho grabbed the milk from the fridge with the intention of pouring himself a glass of milk. He swallowed a yawn, trying not to focus on how tired he was. 
    After pouring the milk, Minho stopped as he tried to remember what he was going to do next.
    “What are you doing?” Jonghyun asked, right up next to him all of the sudden. 
    “Why did you just pour milk into your rice bowl?”
    Minho looked down, and sure enough, his bowl was half full of milk and his glass was still empty.
    With a sigh, the athlete poured the milk from his bowl into his glass before rinsing the bowl and scooping rice into it as he'd originally intended. 
    Jonghyun (who was now cracking up and calling to Jinki to tell him what Minho had done) was lucky that Minho was as tired as he was. Otherwise he might have had to worry for his own personal safety.
    (The fact that, when getting himself a bowl of cereal a week or so later, Minho had accidentally poured milk into his glass instead of over his dry cereal, certainly didn't help matters at all. And Jonghyun would definitely have to watch his back since he'd taken a picture of the scene with his phone, all the while laughing like it was funniest damn thing that he'd ever seen.)
    “Ugh I cannot handle the smell of this dish soap anymore,” Kibum lamented, wrinkling his nose as he scrubbed at the pan with a sponge.
    “Why not?” Jinki asked from his spot at the kitchen table where he was sipping hot tea.
    “Remember when I had to wash that pan that had rotten fish in it?”
    Jinki nodded.
    “Well, now I can't smell this soap without being reminded of the rotting fish smell.”
    “We could add some hand soap into the dish soap,” Taemin suggested.
    Jinki and Kibum both turned to stare at him.
    “So it would smell more like the hand soap,” he explained.
    Jinki shrugged as Kibum went back to washing the pot as though Taemin hadn't spoken at all.
    “Or we could add cinnamon!” he suggested enthusiastically.
    Needless to say, both sets of eyes were on him again.
    “Add cinnamon to dish soap?” Kibum asked with disbelief.
    Taemin nodded earnestly, “It might not be quite as effective, but it would smell better.”
    “You...you can't add cinnamon to dish soap!” Kibum exclaimed, snorting in laughter.
    Taemin frowned, ready to defend his idea.
    But by then Kibum was laughing so hard that he had turned off the water and was bent over the counter top, face buried in his arms as his shoulders shook almost violently. And Jinki wasn't faring much better, to be honest.
    Taemin just pouted. It wasn't that funny.
    Kibum...didn't really do anything that stupid. Much to the chagrin of the other members. But they did have a video of him walking around the dorm in rolled up sweatpants and high heels for no apparent reason (not stupid, just a bit unexpected). And if that wasn't good blackmail material, then nothing was. The other four could at least take comfort in that.

key bw
30th-Jan-2012 07:40 am (UTC)
spot for lishalishalisha, my roomie who has either done or observed these occurrences in our apartment XD
30th-Jan-2012 07:50 pm (UTC)
I love how these are pretty much verbatim what happened. Also, we seem rather stupid, if you were just going off these conversations. WE'RE NOT, I PROMISE.

And I'm going to add cinnamon to the dish soap and see if you notice now. Not now, as you're sitting on the couch and the sink is right there, but soon...
30th-Jan-2012 07:56 pm (UTC)
lol, we do seem pretty dumb based on these XD
but no! don't add cinnamon to the dish soap please! it'll be all gritty and weird. and the dishes will get scrubbed with cinnamon which is just...not what's supposed to happen.
30th-Jan-2012 09:07 am (UTC)
This was so cute hahahha and how Jonghyun counts totally makes sense. I've aced my math exams multiple times but i still ask people whether 2x2=4 is right or wrong OTL
30th-Jan-2012 09:16 am (UTC)
i'm glad you liked it!
math is not my forte, so i think that jonghyun's counting makes sense too OTL lol
thanks for reading and commenting!
30th-Jan-2012 10:30 am (UTC)
haha this made me giggle. Especially the ending!
30th-Jan-2012 05:22 pm (UTC)
i'm glad you liked it!
honestly, i initially intended to write about all 5 of them doing stupid things, but i just couldn't picture key doing anything particularly stupid! haha
thanks for reading and commenting!
31st-Jan-2012 12:13 am (UTC)
lmao this was cute.
31st-Jan-2012 12:42 am (UTC)
i'm glad you liked it!
thanks for reading and commenting!
31st-Jan-2012 12:16 am (UTC)
Lol okay Jonghyun's one was the best cause I just imagine it with me being him in such a situation
This is a nice change
31st-Jan-2012 12:43 am (UTC)
haha i can relate too
i'm glad you enjoyed it!
thanks for reading and commenting!
31st-Jan-2012 09:40 pm (UTC)
hahahaha omg I was alost crying laughing at this. Especially Minho's... I snorted out loud XD
And the image of key's blackmail video hahahaha
seriously made my day XD
31st-Jan-2012 11:20 pm (UTC)
thank you!
i'm so glad you liked these!
it was a lot of fun write :)
thanks for reading and commenting!
1st-Feb-2012 12:14 am (UTC)
Oh God, I feel so bad for everyone who isn't Kibum XD I hate being laughed at so if it was me I'd probably, like, run away crying LOLOL

All these updates make me so happy ;A; <3
1st-Feb-2012 01:38 am (UTC)
aw lol
i usually just laugh when i do something dumb. at least as long as the person laughing at (with) me is a good friend who doesn't mean any harm. haha
thanks for reading and commenting1 :)
1st-Feb-2012 08:52 am (UTC)
I was laughing through all of these <3
Oh God, when Jonghyun added TWELVE to 55 xD that genius
and Taemin cracking up over Onew falling from the couch xD
I can imagine Jonghyun laughing at Minho's misfortune!
Oh, and adding cinnamon is such a Taemin-thing to say xD I love this boy's outlandish ideas <3 And it usually makes perfect sense to me OTL
And also, Key is flawless period
1st-Feb-2012 02:59 pm (UTC)
i'm so glad that you liked it!
jonghyun has brilliant math ideas, okay? lol
i'm sure they'd all enjoy laughing at one another
and cinnamon is...an idea! XD
i'm glad that you agree that key is flawless lol
thanks for reading and commenting!
17th-Mar-2013 10:15 am (UTC)
I just loves me a nice slice-of-life fic now and then. You've got them pegged, for sure! I had a nice giggle the whole way through.
18th-Mar-2013 01:23 am (UTC)
i'm glad you liked it and found it entertaining! ^^
thanks for reading and commenting!
24th-Oct-2015 03:44 am (UTC) - I love this
Thanks for this feel good shinee fandom gem I really liked it!
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