g_odalisque13 (g_odalisque13) wrote,

No One Is Perfect (SHINee bandfic)

Title: No One Is Perfect except maybe Kibum
Pairing: none
Rating: PG
Genre(s): humor
Word Count: 1,038
Summary: Spending nearly 24 hours a day together results in the inability to hide their not-so-intelligent moments.
a/n: Inspired by my life XD


    “What's twelve times five?” Kibum asked, thinking out loud, “60? Yeah.”
    “Wait, I've got this,” Jonghyun interjected, ignoring the fact that the other boy had clearly already gotten to the answer. 
    It had been quite  few years since he'd been forced to do math and he'd never memorized the twelve times table, but he could do it anyway, right? 
    “67!” he announced proudly a moment later, “Right?”
    “What?” Kibum asked, looking up from his laptop, “Five times twelve?”
    Jonghyun nodded as Minho burst into unapologetic laughter from the other side of the room, having heard the entire conversation. 
    “67?” Kibum sputtered in disbelief, “How could something multiplied by five result in anything that ended in a seven?”
    “Oh...” Jonghyun frowned, clearly trying to figure out where his error had been.
    “Hyung!” Minho choked out, having trouble breathing as he doubled over in a fresh round of laughter, “How the hell did you get 67?”
    “I multiplied five by eleven and that's 55...”
    “So then you add five,” Kibum said, watching the older boy quizzically.
    “Oh, I added twelve,” Jonghyun explained as though it was a mistake that could have happened to anyone.
    “What?” Kibum exclaimed, screeching in laughter.
    “Shut up,” Jonghyun muttered, “It made sense in my head.”
    The only response he got was hysterical laughter from the other two occupants of the room. That didn't die down for another five minutes at least.
    Perhaps it was only fair to mention that they'd been drinking. However, it was also important to note that Jinki had only had one drink and he was no lightweight. So he couldn't even really blame the alcohol at all.
    The leader was reclining on the couch, watching some variety show on TV while Taemin (who was quite a bit more intoxicated than Jinki) was munching on Oreos at the table.
    All of the sudden, Taemin looked over to see Jinki reach up for something on the table next to the arm of the couch only to somehow roll right off the couch and land in a heap on the floor.
    “Hyung?” Taemin asked, trying- and failing- to hiding his laughter, “What just happened?”
    “I don't know,” Jinki admitted, chuckling a little from his spot on the floor.
    Taemin, however, was having a really hard time containing his mirth at the situation, finally exploding into laughter as the leader remained sitting on the floor.
    “You just...fell,” he guffawed, tears leaking from his eyes from how hard he was laughing.
    “Taemin-ah,” Kibum tsked, walking into the room after hearing the commotion, “Are you five years old?”
    The maknae had no idea what the other was talking about, but he couldn't be bothered because he was still in hysterics as he watched Jinki climb sheepishly back onto the couch.
    “How did you get so much chocolate on your face?” Kibum muttered to himself, wiping the younger boy's face off with a napkin.
    It did little good though because Taemin's laughing fit didn't end there, so there were more Oreos smeared over his face as soon as the rapper left the room.
    Minho grabbed the milk from the fridge with the intention of pouring himself a glass of milk. He swallowed a yawn, trying not to focus on how tired he was. 
    After pouring the milk, Minho stopped as he tried to remember what he was going to do next.
    “What are you doing?” Jonghyun asked, right up next to him all of the sudden. 
    “Why did you just pour milk into your rice bowl?”
    Minho looked down, and sure enough, his bowl was half full of milk and his glass was still empty.
    With a sigh, the athlete poured the milk from his bowl into his glass before rinsing the bowl and scooping rice into it as he'd originally intended. 
    Jonghyun (who was now cracking up and calling to Jinki to tell him what Minho had done) was lucky that Minho was as tired as he was. Otherwise he might have had to worry for his own personal safety.
    (The fact that, when getting himself a bowl of cereal a week or so later, Minho had accidentally poured milk into his glass instead of over his dry cereal, certainly didn't help matters at all. And Jonghyun would definitely have to watch his back since he'd taken a picture of the scene with his phone, all the while laughing like it was funniest damn thing that he'd ever seen.)
    “Ugh I cannot handle the smell of this dish soap anymore,” Kibum lamented, wrinkling his nose as he scrubbed at the pan with a sponge.
    “Why not?” Jinki asked from his spot at the kitchen table where he was sipping hot tea.
    “Remember when I had to wash that pan that had rotten fish in it?”
    Jinki nodded.
    “Well, now I can't smell this soap without being reminded of the rotting fish smell.”
    “We could add some hand soap into the dish soap,” Taemin suggested.
    Jinki and Kibum both turned to stare at him.
    “So it would smell more like the hand soap,” he explained.
    Jinki shrugged as Kibum went back to washing the pot as though Taemin hadn't spoken at all.
    “Or we could add cinnamon!” he suggested enthusiastically.
    Needless to say, both sets of eyes were on him again.
    “Add cinnamon to dish soap?” Kibum asked with disbelief.
    Taemin nodded earnestly, “It might not be quite as effective, but it would smell better.”
    “You...you can't add cinnamon to dish soap!” Kibum exclaimed, snorting in laughter.
    Taemin frowned, ready to defend his idea.
    But by then Kibum was laughing so hard that he had turned off the water and was bent over the counter top, face buried in his arms as his shoulders shook almost violently. And Jinki wasn't faring much better, to be honest.
    Taemin just pouted. It wasn't that funny.
    Kibum...didn't really do anything that stupid. Much to the chagrin of the other members. But they did have a video of him walking around the dorm in rolled up sweatpants and high heels for no apparent reason (not stupid, just a bit unexpected). And if that wasn't good blackmail material, then nothing was. The other four could at least take comfort in that.

Tags: !oneshot, fandom: shinee
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