Title: Kyuhyun is a Troll
Pairing: none (Kyuhyun-centric, Jonghyun-centric)
Genre(s): humor, crack
Word Count: 802
Summary: Kyuhyun likes to screw with people. Jonghyun is the perfect target.
because we think this is hilarious XD
It had been something he'd cooked up with Changmin and Minho one night when they'd all been drinking at the Dong Bang Shin Ki dorm. Changmin had, very seriously, asked him what his favorite color was, as though his answer would greatly impact their lives.
Upon being assured by a laughing Changmin that he'd just been curious, Kyuhyun realized how easy it would be to fuck with someone by asking them a question regarding their personal tastes, writing it down seriously, and then walking away, never to mention it again.
That prompted the idea that it would be even funnier to do it daily, asking one person a new question everyday and never actually explaining why.
“That would completely fuck with them,” Changmin had cackled.
“God, I really want to do it to someone now!” Kyuhyun had said between choked back laughs, “Whom should I do it to?”
“Sungmin?” Changmin had suggested.
“Nah, he's too used to me,” Kyuhyun had pointed out, “Besides, he'd probably threaten me with his nun-chucks until I told him why I was asking.”
“I always forget that he's kind of terrifying when he's mad,” Changmin had reflected.
“I know exactly whom you should fuck with,” Minho had suddenly announced, drawing the attention to him.
“Who?” Kyuhyun had asked.
“Jonghyun hyung,” Minho had said, grinning wickedly, “He probably won't catch on to what you're doing and stuff like that drives him nuts.”
“Genius,” Changmin had proclaimed, holding his glass up to toast the SHINee member's idea and that was that.
“Jonghyun,” Kyuhyun said, approaching the younger man in the hallway that led to the practice rooms in the SM building.
“What's up, hyung?” Jonghyun asked, turning around with an unassuming grin. It was true what they said- Jonghyun really did resemble an excited puppy sometimes. And if Kyuhyun was someone else, he might have felt bad for planning to fuck with someone so trusting. But he wasn't someone else and he didn't really feel guilty.
“I was just wondering what your favorite color is,” he said, pulling a notebook and pen out of his pocket.
Jonghyun looked mildly confused, but mostly excited that Kyuhyun had taken such an interest in such a small fact about him.
“Blue, probably,” Jonghyun said, tapping his chin in thought, “But I like red too. And yellow. And black, if that counts.”
Kyuhyun nodded seriously, writing down what Jonghyun had said before pocketing the notebook and pen once more.
“Alright, thanks,” Kyuhyun smiled as he turned and walked away, leaving Jonghyun with his interest piqued.
Over the course of the next month, Kyuhyun asked Jonghyun about his favorite food, favorite song, favorite TV show, favorite movie, favorite member of Kara, and at what age he lost his first tooth- writing all of it down diligently.
Each time Jonghyun answered eagerly, staring at Kyuhyun as though he was waiting for him to explain why he was asking. Though, of course, he never did- simply leaving Jonghyun more confused than ever.
“I just can't figure it out!” Jonghyun exclaimed for probably the twentieth time, “Why is he asking me all those questions?”
“I don't know,” Kibum said again, sighing in annoyance.
“Are you sure you haven't heard anything?” he pressed.
“No, what would I have possibly heard?” Kibum rolled his eyes, trying to focus on the book he was reading.
“I dunno,” Jonghyun shrugged, “Like maybe someone is planning a party for me?”
Kibum barked out a laugh, setting his book down, “Why would someone be planning a party for you? Just to celebrate your existence?”
“It could be a birthday party!” he defended, pouting.
“Your birthday isn't for another two months,” Kibum reminded him, going back to his book.
“So?” Jonghyun mumbled, sinking into the couch to sulk.
Minho slipped out of the room before he burst out laughing.
“If you were a fish, what kind of of fish would you be?” Kyuhyun asked the next day, five weeks into his “experiment.”
“Why?” he asked emphatically, finally fed up.
Kyuhyun stared at him as though he was positively insane.
“No reason,” he answered honestly, shrugging.
“No!” Jonghyun stomped his foot and scowled, “There has to be a reason and I want to know what it is.”
“I told you, there's no reason,” Kyuhyun said calmly.
“Come on,” Jonghyun whined, pouting.
“So what fish would you be?” he prompted.
“I don't know,” Jonghyun replied sulkily.
“I'll just put down 'trout,'” Kyuhyun told him, making to write it down.
“No,” Jonghyun stopped him, unable to help himself, “Put something cooler. Like shark or barracuda or one of those see-through fish with the light on their heads.”
Kyuhyun tried to keep from smirking.
“Okay,” he said, scribbling in his notebook, “Thanks.”
Jonghyun nodded, brows furrowed in frustration as Kyuhyun left.
It was just too easy.