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The Garden of Earthly Delights
My Mind Is My Best Friend And My Worst Enemy
Kyuhyun is a Troll 
10th-Feb-2012 10:27 pm
Title: Kyuhyun is a Troll
Pairing: none (Kyuhyun-centric, Jonghyun-centric)
Rating: PG-13
Genre(s): humor, crack
Word Count: 802
Summary: Kyuhyun likes to screw with people. Jonghyun is the perfect target.
For lishalishalisha because we think this is hilarious XD

-----------------

    It had been something he'd cooked up with Changmin and Minho one night when they'd all been drinking at the Dong Bang Shin Ki dorm. Changmin had, very seriously, asked him what his favorite color was, as though his answer would greatly impact their lives. 
    Upon being assured by a laughing Changmin that he'd just been curious, Kyuhyun realized how easy it would be to fuck with someone by asking them a question regarding their personal tastes, writing it down seriously, and then walking away, never to mention it again.
    That prompted the idea that it would be even funnier to do it daily, asking one person a new question everyday and never actually explaining why.
    “That would completely fuck with them,” Changmin had cackled.
    “God, I really want to do it to someone now!” Kyuhyun had said between choked back laughs, “Whom should I do it to?”
    “Sungmin?” Changmin had suggested.
    “Nah, he's too used to me,” Kyuhyun had pointed out, “Besides, he'd probably threaten me with his nun-chucks until I told him why I was asking.”
    “I always forget that he's kind of terrifying when he's mad,” Changmin had reflected.
    “I know exactly whom you should fuck with,” Minho had suddenly announced, drawing the attention to him.
    “Who?” Kyuhyun had asked.
    “Jonghyun hyung,” Minho had said, grinning wickedly, “He probably won't catch on to what you're doing and stuff like that drives him nuts.”
    “Genius,” Changmin had proclaimed, holding his glass up to toast the SHINee member's idea and that was that.
---
    “Jonghyun,” Kyuhyun said, approaching the younger man in the hallway that led to the practice rooms in the SM building.
    “What's up, hyung?” Jonghyun asked, turning around with an unassuming grin. It was true what they said- Jonghyun really did resemble an excited puppy sometimes. And if Kyuhyun was someone else, he might have felt bad for planning to fuck with someone so trusting. But he wasn't someone else and he didn't really feel guilty.
    “I was just wondering what your favorite color is,” he said, pulling a notebook and pen out of his pocket.
    Jonghyun looked mildly confused, but mostly excited that Kyuhyun had taken such an interest in such a small fact about him.
    “Blue, probably,” Jonghyun said, tapping his chin in thought, “But I like red too. And yellow. And black, if that counts.”
    Kyuhyun nodded seriously, writing down what Jonghyun had said before pocketing the notebook and pen once more.
    “Alright, thanks,” Kyuhyun smiled as he turned and walked away, leaving Jonghyun with his interest piqued.
    Over the course of the next month, Kyuhyun asked Jonghyun about his favorite food, favorite song, favorite TV show, favorite movie, favorite member of Kara, and at what age he lost his first tooth- writing all of it down diligently.
    Each time Jonghyun answered eagerly, staring at Kyuhyun as though he was waiting for him to explain why he was asking. Though, of course, he never did- simply leaving Jonghyun more confused than ever.
    “I just can't figure it out!” Jonghyun exclaimed for probably the twentieth time, “Why is he asking me all those questions?”
    “I don't know,” Kibum said again, sighing in annoyance.
    “Are you sure you haven't heard anything?” he pressed.
    “No, what would I have possibly heard?” Kibum rolled his eyes, trying to focus on the book he was reading.
    “I dunno,” Jonghyun shrugged, “Like maybe someone is planning a party for me?”
    Kibum barked out a laugh, setting his book down, “Why would someone be planning a party for you? Just to celebrate your existence?”
    “It could be a birthday party!” he defended, pouting.
    “Your birthday isn't for another two months,” Kibum reminded him, going back to his book.
    “So?” Jonghyun mumbled, sinking into the couch to sulk.
    Minho slipped out of the room before he burst out laughing.
---
    “If you were a fish, what kind of of fish would you be?” Kyuhyun asked the next day, five weeks into his “experiment.”
    “Why?” he asked emphatically, finally fed up.
    Kyuhyun stared at him as though he was positively insane.
    “No reason,” he answered honestly, shrugging.
    “No!” Jonghyun stomped his foot and scowled, “There has to be a reason and I want to know what it is.”
    “I told you, there's no reason,” Kyuhyun said calmly.
    “Come on,” Jonghyun whined, pouting.
    Kyuhyun shrugged.
    “So what fish would you be?” he prompted.
    “I don't know,” Jonghyun replied sulkily.
    “I'll just put down 'trout,'” Kyuhyun told him, making to write it down.
    “No,” Jonghyun stopped him, unable to help himself, “Put something cooler. Like shark or barracuda or one of those see-through fish with the light on their heads.”
    Kyuhyun tried to keep from smirking.
    “Okay,” he said, scribbling in his notebook, “Thanks.”
    Jonghyun nodded, brows furrowed in frustration as Kyuhyun left.
    It was just too easy.


kyuhyun  bw
Comments 
11th-Feb-2012 04:29 am (UTC)
spot for lishalishalisha :)
12th-Feb-2012 12:51 am (UTC)
Oh hey, look, a comment!
But you know how much I adored this, seeing as I was dying on the couch next to you.
But just as a reminder:
“So what fish would you be?” he prompted.
“I don't know,” Jonghyun replied sulkily.
“I'll just put down 'trout,'” Kyuhyun told him, making to write it down.
“No,” Jonghyun stopped him, unable to help himself, “Put something cooler. Like shark or barracuda or one of those see-through fish with the light on their heads.”
Kyuhyun tried to keep from smirking.
“Okay,” he said, scribbling in his notebook, “Thanks.”
Jonghyun nodded, brows furrowed in frustration as Kyuhyun left.

Baaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha amazing. And I could totally see him trying to seem cooler.
12th-Feb-2012 01:08 am (UTC)
hooray! a comment!
i am so glad that you liked this!
and i totally think that jonghyun would want to appear cooler lol
thanks for reading and commenting!
11th-Feb-2012 05:12 am (UTC)
I'm trying not to notice the JongKey but I can't help it.
11th-Feb-2012 05:44 am (UTC)
feel free to notice the super-duper-ninja!jongkey
jongkey is always secretly in love in my fics XD
thanks for reading and commenting!
11th-Feb-2012 02:23 pm (UTC)
ahahahahhahahaahha
Kyu is definitely a Troll in this! ahahahahah, so funny, thanx for sharing^^
-it gives me idea to prank my friends as well!- LOL
12th-Feb-2012 12:42 am (UTC)
i'm glad you like it!
let me know how pranking your friends go!
thanks for reading and commenting!
11th-Feb-2012 05:37 pm (UTC)
Kyuhyun is a troll and is so mean.
12th-Feb-2012 12:42 am (UTC)
yes he is!
thanks for reading and commenting!
11th-Feb-2012 07:37 pm (UTC)
EVIL KYU!))))
12th-Feb-2012 12:43 am (UTC)
evil indeed!
thanks for reading and commenting!
11th-Feb-2012 07:43 pm (UTC)
this is exactly why kyuhyun is my favorite member. he would totally do something like this. and while i especially love the last couple of lines, this whole fic is just so awesome and hilarious. thank you for writing :D
12th-Feb-2012 12:44 am (UTC)
thank you!
i'm glad you liked it!
and i could see kyuhyun doing this too XD
thanks for reading and commenting!
11th-Feb-2012 08:35 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I can imagine this actually happening!
OHMYGOD I SHOULD TOTALLY DO THIS TO SOMEONE!
12th-Feb-2012 12:46 am (UTC)
i can imagine this too haha
and yes you should! and then tell me how it goes! XD
thanks for reading and commenting!
19th-Feb-2012 11:09 pm (UTC)
I SHALL START NEXT WEEK! *nods with determination*
19th-Feb-2012 11:23 pm (UTC)
awesome! i definitely want to know if it works!
14th-Feb-2012 12:15 pm (UTC)
I could picture Kyuhyun doing this in real life. If he actually cared enough to update his Twitter regularly, he would've been the biggest troll out there.

And of course Jonghyun would be a cool fish, haha. Thanks for sharing!
14th-Feb-2012 05:57 pm (UTC)
haha i could picture it too
he definitely is the biggest troll
i'm glad you liked it!
thanks for reading and commenting!
17th-Feb-2012 06:02 am (UTC)
Trolololol!!!!!
This was fun! Evil!Kyu is the best!Kyu!
17th-Feb-2012 06:13 am (UTC)
i love evil!kyu :)
i'm glad you liked it!
thanks for reading and commenting!
17th-Feb-2014 12:11 am (UTC)
Was going to stop reading but then I saw the title and I am now dying. I hope you arr happy! *wheezes* *dying*
26th-Feb-2014 11:56 am (UTC)
lol i'm glad you liked it XD
but no dying!!
thanks for reading and commenting!
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