Title: It Only Takes Once
Genre(s): mild angst, romance, fluff
Word Count: 2,776
Summary: Tiffany inspires more feelings in Jessica than any of the other girls that she's ever dated.
Written for the apparently defunct The Girls Valentine's Day Exchange for naturedichotomy
a/n: I'm not sure that I really gave you what you asked for at all (except that they're in college). And I meant nothing against Sooyoung in this! It just fit the story.
Jessica was no stranger to the world of women. Her first experience with a girl had been at a sleepover when she'd been in high school. She and one other girl had been the only two left awake at four in the morning- delirious and hyper. Somehow, they'd ended up making out on the floor, on top of one of their sleeping bags- hands running hungrily over the material of their pajamas.
It wasn't the most amazing or magical experience, but it had been a hell of a lot better than any of the make out sessions that Jessica had had with past boyfriends. So it was girls for her from then on out, even though the other girl had quickly gotten a boyfriend- calling that night a mistake.
However, what the other girl did was of little interest to Jessica, who was having her fun bringing many popular girls to their knees- both literally and figuratively.
In college, Jessica finally found herself in a proper relationship- getting out of her hometown and meeting girls who weren't ashamed of their sexuality. The relationship hadn't been the end-all, be-all of relationships. They got along well enough, though they tended to fight a lot. Truthfully, their mutual attraction had been one of the main draws of the relationship.
Still, it had ended and Jessica had moved on, having a few more meaningless hook-ups before settling into another relationship during her sophomore year. That relationship had come to an end as well after a few months and Jessica hadn't immediately found someone whom she was interested in.
And then there was Tiffany Hwang.
Jessica really and truly hadn't meant to fall for her. Really.
Mostly because she wasn't sure at all if Tiffany even liked girls. And, worse, Tiffany didn't even know that she liked girls. Because there wasn't a casual way to slip that into conversation. It's not like she went up to people, shook their hands, and said, “Hi I'm Jessica Jung and I prefer women to men. Just so there's no confusion later on.”
Her attraction to Tiffany had been immediate. There was just something about Tiffany that made Jessica sit up and pay attention from the first moment she'd laid her eyes on the dark haired girl. Was it her eyes? Or the curve of her full lips? Jessica didn't know. But the realization that Tiffany was sweet on top of all of that- well, that just wasn't even fair.
Jessica had a very hard time not creating her own commentary for any movie that she watched. Well, any movie that she watched that she was actually conscious for. She had a bit of a bad habit of falling asleep in front of movies- most often movies that hadn't been her choice.
So when she found herself subject to a stupid documentary in her psychology class (where Tiffany had popped up in, conveniently), she really couldn't help herself from snorting in disbelief in response to some of the ignorant comments the people on the screen made, or throwing in a comment here or there in regards to something bizarre that the movie showed.
And she was more than a little pleased and surprised to find Tiffany's voice joining in- joking about something or other that was taking place in the documentary- even as the rest of the class sat silently, watching the movie like normal people. Well, except for a guy on Tiffany's other side who decided to join in. And Jessica was most definitely not jealous when he said something quiet enough to Tiffany that she couldn't hear, noting that Tiffany giggled in response. Nope, not jealous at all.
After having had too much to drink at a party, Jessica had somewhat accidentally announced her sexuality to her group of friends. Or at least to the ones who didn't already know. They had been standing on the subway platform, waiting for their train when one of the girls had been teasing Sooyoung that she should trade sexual favors for food from her chef-boyfriend.
Jessica had jumped in, making some comment about how she was glad that she didn't have to deal with dick anymore (clearly the alcohol had completely disintegrated her filter). Sooyoung had turned to her then.
“You're gay?” she'd asked.
“Yeah,” Jessica had replied, shrugging.
“That's okay,” Sooyoung had assured her.
Jessica had wanted to reply with something like no shit. But she was pretty drunk and figured that she should probably let it go. It was an awkward thing to say, but she figured that it was probably a once-off.
That is, until it had happened again.
It turned out that Yuri, who was in Jessica's group of friends, was friends with Tiffany. So Jessica ended up with Sooyoung, Yuri, and Tiffany in her apartment one Tuesday night.
Sooyoung was going on about how she'd announced to her sister when she was younger that she was saving herself for Brad Pitt (not knowing what she was saying at the time). Jessica laughed.
“I never quite got into any of the heartthrobs when I was younger,” she observed, “Though I guess that makes sense in retrospect,” she'd joked under her breath. Really just for her own benefit and Yuri's since she was the one sitting the closest to her.
But apparently, Sooyoung had also heard her, turning to her and stopping the conversation that she was having with Tiffany.
“What?” she asked, staring Jessica down.
“Never mind, it was just a joke,” Jessica hedged, not having meant for it to be such a big deal. It was one of those jokes that just sounded stupid when repeated anyway.
“Well of course you wouldn't have liked him. You like girls,” Sooyoung pointed out to the silent room. Jessica felt her cheeks flame. She wasn't ashamed of her sexuality, but to be called out like that was uncomfortable.
“I liked Kangta!” she added defensively. Just because she preferred girls didn't mean that she wasn't allowed to have meaningless crushes on male celebrities.
“I did too,” Tiffany agreed, smiling at her. Jessica's relief was immediate, grateful for the other girl's attempt to bring her back into the conversation rather than ostracize her.
“In sixth grade, I printed a bunch of pictures out of him and taped them in my locker,” Jessica giggled.
And the conversation had flowed from there- awkwardness thankfully left behind.
Jessica kind of wished that Tiffany hadn't found out about her sexuality like that, but she was immensely grateful (and relieved) that the other girl didn't treat her any differently once she knew.
Tiffany's cousin was in town and it was obvious that there was some tension between them. Jessica observed Tiffany on the phone, having some sort of disagreement with the girl on the other end of the line. Which was pretty notable considering Tiffany's naturally upbeat personality- Jessica had never seen her truly angry with anyone.
After she hung up, she sat back down on the couch to finish the movie that they'd started. Tiffany didn't say anything and neither did Yuri so Jessica was silent as well, trying to concentrate on the television. But she could see the other girl's posture out of the corner of her eye. It was clear that she was angry and upset and it made Jessica want to put her arm around her and tell her that she was here to listen if she wanted to talk about it.
But she didn't know if that would be inappropriate, so she attempted to keep her eyes forward even as she snuck concerned looks at the other girl throughout the rest of the movie.
“Sunny and I went out to a club on Saturday,” Tiffany told her before class started, “It was really fun.”
“Yeah?” Jessica replied airily, fiddling with her pen and trying to hide the way her shoulders tensed up at the idea of Tiffany dancing with a bunch of anonymous people in a dark club.
“There were these two guys we met,” she went on, unaware of the way that Jessica was clenching her jaw, “They were pretty cool and they taught us some new dances.”
“So were they...hitting on you?” Jessica asked, trying for casual.
“One of them had a girlfriend,” Tiffany told her, “But they were still hitting on us. The one guy kept whispering in my ear. It was kind of gross actually.”
Jessica's grip on her pen had her knuckles turning white.
“I'm gonna run to the bathroom before class starts,” she said, excusing herself and speed walking down the hall to the closest restroom.
Staring at herself in the mirror, Jessica willed herself to calm down. Tiffany was her own person- she could do as she pleased. She was not Jessica's to claim in any way.
But god, the image of faceless guys pressed up against her, their lips against her ear, had Jessica resisting the urge to retch.
“Ugh I can't get it to fit!” Tiffany exclaimed in frustration, trying to shove her cardigan and scarf in her bag.
Jessica saw the waiter's mouth twitch at the double entendre, making as if to say something in reference to it. It made Jessica's blood boil. He didn't even know Tiffany! How inappropriate to make a joke about an unintentional sex reference to a girl whom he'd never even spoken to. Disgusting.
“We'd both just like water to start out,” she quickly cut in before he could make a comment.
The waiter' eyes immediately snapped to her, mildly displeased. Jessica gave him a charming smile that said please leave us now. He smiled politely in return, though she could tell that he was annoyed that she'd gotten in his way of flirting with Tiffany. He left anyway to get their waters.
Tiffany remained oblivious.
“So you like Tiffany, then?” Yuri said casually when the two of them were at work in the student enrollment office.
“What?” Jessica choked, staring at Yuri with wide eyes before she was able to school her face into an uninterested expression.
Yuri shrugged, “It's pretty obvious.”
Jessica gaped, looking around furtively to make sure that no one else had heard.
“Does Tiffany know?” Jessica hissed, panicking a little.
“I don't think so,” Yuri assured her, scrolling through her text messages like the whole thing was no big deal.
Jessica kind of felt like she couldn't breathe.
“Well, is that all you're going to say?” she demanded.
Yuri looked at her, surprised.
“What else do you want me to say?”
“I don't know,” Jessica whined, raking her fingers through her hair, “Maybe give me some advice or something!”
“Does Tiffany even like girls?” Yuri asked her, looking a little perplexed by Jessica's outburst.
“I don't know!” she exclaimed, letting her head fall onto the desk.
“We can try to find out,” Yuri offered.
Jessica focused on breathing rather than responding. No sense in pursuing Tiffany if she was going to die prematurely of a panic attack.
“You deserve the best guy in the world,” Yuri slurred at a confused Tiffany, “You shouldn't settle. You have to wait for the right one.”
Jessica cradled her face in her hands, elbows resting on the wooden tabletop.
Really? This was what Yuri had in mind to find out if Tiffany liked girls?
Perhaps coming to a bar, letting Yuri get drunk, and then expecting her to be of any use was a mistake.
In her defense, she hadn't expected Yuri to get drunk quite so easily. It appeared that both Jessica and Tiffany could handle their alcohol better than the other girl since the two of them were almost fully sober after having had the same amount to drink as the now-wasted girl.
“You're gonna get the best guy in the world,” Yuri assured Tiffany, hanging onto her arm.
“Okay...” Tiffany giggled, looking to Jessica for help. The latter just shrugged.
“I just want you to know that you deserve the best!” Yuri went on earnestly.
“Yah! Yuri!” Jessica interrupted, “Only Tiffany deserves the best? I don't get a motivational speech?”
“You do too,” Yuri replied, focus shifting to Jessica, “You are going to be so successful. You are so talented. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise,” she said seriously before turning her attention to Sooyoung who also found herself on the other end of a drunken pep talk.
“So you get true love and I get a successful career?” Jessica griped.
Tiffany just laughed.
“So was Yuri referring to any particular guy?” Jessica asked Tiffany when the two of them were on the subway on their way to their respective apartments- both of them completely sober now.
“I don't think so,” Tiffany giggled, “I don't think she'll even remember saying any of that tomorrow.”
“That's probably true,” Jessica allowed, “She also probably won't remember sitting in the sink in the bathroom and refusing to get up.”
Tiffany buried a laugh behind her hand.
Jessica's grin left her face when she noticed a man sitting a few seats away from them, overtly eyeing Tiffany's legs.
“What?” Tiffany asked, aware of Jessica's swift expression change.
“Just some creep checking you out,” Jessica told her, glaring daggers at the man until he looked away.
Tiffany wasn't looking at the man, however. Rather, she was watching Jessica in interest- her gaze so focused that Jessica felt herself flush under the scrutiny.
“Um...this is my stop,” she said, glad for an escape from the other girl's intense stare.
“See you,” Tiffany said, smile back full-force.
Jessica smiled tentatively in return and waved as she hurried off the subway car. But even after the train sped away, wind blowing at her skirt, she could feel Tiffany's eyes on her.
Tiffany's greeting smile when she walked into psychology was just as bright as it always was. The other girl's voice was just as enthusiastic and she sounded just as genuinely interested when she asked Jessica how she had been in the two days since they'd seen each other. But there was something different.
It was like Tiffany could see through her- like she could harbor absolutely no secrets from her. And that was kind of uncomfortable, especially considering that most of her secrets were related back to Tiffany in some way.
Like the fact that she'd had a rather vivid dream regarding the other girl just the night before in which they'd been searching through classrooms- trying to find an empty one. And when they had...well, Jessica had woken up right after Tiffany had popped the button on her jeans with a guilty conscious and an ache between her legs that she chose to ignore.
Having Tiffany sitting right next to her with a look in her friendly eyes that said that she could read her like a book...it was pretty unnerving.
“What are you doing?” Jessica gasped, wrenching out of Tiffany's grasp even though the loss of warmth from the other's hand on the back of her neck kind of felt like the worst thing ever.
“Kissing you?” Tiffany replied, somehow looking completely calm and self-assured despite the fact that she'd just kissed Jessica out of the blue and despite the fact that Jessica had pulled away like Tiffany's lips were on fire.
“But why?” Jessica asked, feeling like a moron. But hadn't been expecting any of this when Tiffany invited her over to her apartment to watch a movie and she needed to figure out what was going on before she allowed herself to even think about giving into the desire she had to affix herself to Tiffany's body and suck on her full lips until they were pink and swollen.
“I like you,” Tiffany told her, like it was the simplest thing in the world.
“But...you like girls?” Jessica looked down at their now-joined hands.
“I like you.”
“Oh,” Jessica replied intelligently.
Tiffany just grinned at her- eyes twinkling.
“But you've never been with a girl?”
Tiffany shook her head, “Does that bother you?” she asked, looking slightly unsure of herself for the first time that evening.
“No!” Jessica quickly assured her, trying to wrap her mind around all that had changed in the last five minutes.
“Do you like me?” she pressed.
“I thought so,” Tiffany said, confident smile back as she giggled, “You get so jealous.”
Jessica felt her cheeks flush- mouth opening to argue. She hadn't thought that she'd been so obvious. But Tiffany's lips were back on hers again and preserving her pride wasn't the most important thing anymore.
Jessica had been with her share of girls before Tiffany.
“I'm just lucky,” Tiffany told her, “I got it right on the first try.”