Title: Packing Heat
Genre(s): humor, crack
Word Count: 537
Summary: Chanyeol muses over blogs dedicated to particular parts of Baekhyun's body. Baekhyun is mortified.
a/n: I am no longer allowed to write things that I think of at two in the morning OTL
“There's an entire blog dedicated to your fingers, you know,” Chanyeol announced, eyeing the screen of his laptop.
“That's weird,” Baekhyun replied, from where he was reclining on his bed reading a book- blankets rumpled and pillow smashed under his shoulders.
“Not that weird,” Chanyeol argued, spinning around in his desk chair to face his roommate, “You have nice fingers.”
Baekhyun spared a glance at his hand, cast a yellowish shade from his bedside table lamp. His fingers didn't look particularly special to him, so he just shrugged and went back to reading.
“I'm surprised that there aren't blogs related to other features of yours,” Chanyeol mused, shifting in his chair and making the wood creak.
“Like what?” Baekhyun frowned, finally setting his earmarked book down since it seemed that Chanyeol was going to continue to address him, “I think there might be one about my eyeliner?”
“Not that,” Chanyeol laughed, “Though there is one dedicated to your eyeliner.”
He paused, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. Baekhyun steeled himself for whatever was coming next. Unfortunately, past experience gave him a clue as to where this was going and it was no where good.
“Someone should make one about little Baekhyun,” Chanyeol finally said, looking supremely pleased with himself.
Baekhyun found himself flushing at the idea despite the fact that he had assumed that Chanyeol was going to say something along those lines.
“Chanyeol, I've told you a million times,” he replied, exasperated and trying hide his mortification, “Don't call it that.”
“I don't really see what's so wrong ab-”
“First of all,” Baekhyun cut him off, “It implies that my dick and I are separate entities, which is kind of an alarming thought.”
Chanyeol didn't seem particularly moved.
“Second,” he went on, “It makes it sound like it's...a person, which is so so weird and creepy.”
“Fine,” Chanyeol relented, holding his hands up in defeat, “But there should still be a blog about it.”
“Whatever,” Baekhyun grumbled, trying to shake the last pangs of embarrassment.
“I mean, really,” Chanyeol continued, unconcerned about Baekhyun's reluctance to discuss the topic, “Didn't any fans notice what you're working with after you wore those really tight pants for MAMA?”
Baekhyun felt his cheeks flame even more, having the sudden urge to crawl under his blankets to hide.
“Chanyeol,” he whined, feeling self conscious enough to put his book in his lap even though Chanyeol had seen his cock countless times, “Can we please not talk about this anymore? It's weird.”
Chanyeol shrugged and turned back to his computer, leaving Baekhyun to curl into a ball of embarrassment in peace.
And just when Baekhyun had finally managed to focus on his book again instead of the idea of people making blogs dedicated to his dick, Chanyeol called him over to the computer. He complied, climbing off his bed and shuffling over to Chanyeol's desk even though he was feeling quite wary about what he was about to be shown.
“Problem solved!” Chanyeol beamed, clapping his hands delightedly and moving so Baekhyun could see the screen, “I made one!”
Baekhyun leaned over to see the words running across the page: fuckyeahlittlebaekhyun.
“Dammit Chanyeol! I told you not to call it that!”