Pairing: Key-centric, bandfic
Genre(s): humor, crack
Word Count: 689
Summary: In which Key thinks he's hot shit for getting to share a stage with BoA
a/n: Because I worship the ground BoA walks on and I love that Key does too.
“Hey guys,” Key said, looking up from his laptop, “Remember that time that BoA chose me to perform I Did It For Love with her?”
“Yes,” Minho replied, no amount of emotion or excitement in his voice. He didn't even look away from the TV screen. He couldn't let his concentration slip lest Taemin beat him.
“Shut up already,” Jonghyun griped from his spot in the massage chair in their living room. It really was “his spot” since no one else sat in it when he was around because he'd always call dibs and then race to the chair. Even though no one was trying to beat him to it.
“That is the fourth time you mentioned it in the last hour,” Jinki pointed out.
“Yeah, you're almost as annoying as Jonghyun-hyung,” Taemin interjected, laughing.
“Yah!” Jonghyun yelled, sitting up to hurl a pillow at the maknae's head only to miss and knock the video game controller out of Minho's hand.
“What the fuck?” Minho shouted, pinning Jonghyun with a deadly glare after Taemin managed to make a goal on him.
“Well, I don't see any of you getting asked to to perform with BoA,” Key cut in, uninterested in Minho's promises to smother Jonghyun in his sleep.
No one responded.
“Shit, I mean look at that,” Key proclaimed when they watched their SMtown performances back to improve for the next show, “I'm on stage with BoA. That is basically the coolest thing ever. I mean, I'll have to work hard to match her performance but still. I think it looks pretty damn good.”
“You did a good job,” Jinki agreed, smiling encouragingly because he was the leader and he knew that the other three were sick to death of hearing about it. He was too, but he was supposed to be responsible or something.
“You look like even more of a cocky asshole than Jonghyun when he's performing,” Minho observed.
“I look way better than Jonghyun,” Key argued, “At least I have a reason to be cocky. I've got my arm around BoA. Jonghyun just molests Taemin or rolls around in blood or whatever.”
“That was cool and you know it!” Jonghyun insisted, but no one was listening.
“I would love to be BoA for a day,” Key mused, eyes on the screen where BoA was singing (and being perfect) and he was walking around with swag, “Wouldn't that be great?” he asked no one in particular.
“She's a great dancer,” Taemin said, “But I don't know if I want to be her.”
“Yeah,” Minho agreed, “Maybe like the male version? Or I would wish that someday I'd be as successful and charismatic as she is.”
“Says Flaming Charisma,” Jonghyun cackled, his laugh vibrating from the massage chair.
(And wow had that been annoying when they'd first gotten the chair. Jonghyun just sat there and made sounds so he could hear his voice vibrating until Minho had clamped a hand over his mouth and told him he'd better shut up or else he was going to shove something in his mouth so he'd be quiet. An empty threat- just more of their bromance turned...who knows what. But come to think of it, getting a blowjob from someone sitting in a massage chair wasn't a bad idea at all...)
“Come on you guys,” Key scoffed, “Who even cares what gender you'd be? It's fucking BoA. Everything else is irrelevant.”
“I don't know,” Taemin said, “I like my dick.”
“So we've heard,” Minho snorted and Taemin flushed.
“You guys are just missing the point entirely,” Key complained, “She's the queen.”
“Don't even,” Key threatened, shooting a glare at Minho who just continued to smirk.
But finally everyone shut up and concentrated on their Ring Ding Dong performance.
“Do you think,” Jonghyun mused, talking over the sound of the TV, “That the company would let me bring live animals on stage?”
a/n 2: In case you haven't seen I AM, Key really does say that he'd like to be BoA for a day :) Also, title taken from BoA's Look Who's Talking.