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The Garden of Earthly Delights
My Mind Is My Best Friend And My Worst Enemy
SHINee Forever Alone Valentine's Day Drabbles  
14th-Feb-2013 01:58 am
Title: Be My BFF
Pairing: friendship!Jonghyun/Minho
Rating: PG
Genre(s): humor, crack
Word Count: 430
Summary: Jonghyun plans to treat his best friend right on Valentine's day. Much to Kibum's amusement.


“Minho,” Jonghyun nearly shouted, dropping into the empty seat next to the taller boy in their shared psychology class, “What are you doing for Valentine's day?”

“Um...” Minho looked at Jonghyun and then around at the few people who were now staring at them due to Jonghyun's loud voice and over-enthusiasm, “Nothing?”

“Wrong!” Jonghyun told him with a grin, “We are going to White Castle for dinner.”

“Okay...do we really have to plan ahead for that?” Minho asked, “I mean, what if we decide we want McDonald's or Wendy's or something?”

“But I got us a reservation,” Jonghyun told him, dragging out the word for emphasis, “Besides, I'm boycotting Wendy's since the drive-thru guy asked me if I was blazed. Excuse me for wanting a burger at midnight.”

Minho snorted at the memory before he processed the beginning of that sentence, “Wait. Reservations?” he asked disbelievingly.

“Yeah,” Jonghyun nodded excitedly, obviously pleased with himself, “They take reservations for Valentine's day.”

Minho wasn't sure whether to be alarmed or endeared by his best friend's exuberance.

“That's a little...sad. For any girls who get taken there by their boyfriends,” he clarified at Jonghyun's disheartened expression, “But, uh, sounds fun!” He smiled, glad to see Jonghyun grinning again.

“What are you guys talking about?” Kibum asked, sitting down in the row in front of them, eyeing the excited Jonghyun warily.

“Jonghyun...got us reservations for White Castle on Valentine's day,” Minho explained, bracing himself for Kibum's reaction.

Which came just a split second later.

What?!” Kibum screeched, doubling over in loud laughter and bringing attention to their part of the classroom again, “That's even a thing?!”

“Yeah,” Jonghyun replied defensively, “I thought it would be fun.”

“You would,” Kibum continued, still laughing, “Oh god. That's...wow. That made my day.”

Jonghyun frowned.

“I'm sure it'll be fun,” Minho said if only so Jonghyun would stop looking like a kicked puppy.

Jonghyun turned a wide smile on him in response.

“I just wanted to do something for my bee-eff-eff on Valentine's day,” he explained earnestly to Minho as Kibum snorted, “Love you, man.”

At that, he proffered his fist. Minho sighed and bumped it with his own.

“Oh my god,” Kibum exclaimed, “And I'm supposed to be the gay one. Yeah, okay.”

“You're just jealous that I have a date and you don't,” Jonghyun shot back.

Kibum scowled at him venomously.

“And I'm a pretty hot date,” Minho added with a cocky smirk, Jonghyun nodding in agreement.

Another fist-bump occurred when Kibum turned back to the front with a huff and a roll of his eyes.

Title: I Hate Trees
Pairing: friendship girl!Jonghyun/girl!Key (Junghee/Gwiboon)
Rating: R
Genre(s): humor, crack
Word Count: 430
Summary: When Gwiboon asks Junghee what she is doing for Valentine's day, she informs her that she's planning to show herself a good time. Oh. And eat some ice cream.


“So what are you doing for Valentine's day?” Gwiboon asked Junghee, expression bored as she leaned back on the couch and stared blankly at the television.

“I dunno...” the shorter girl replied, pausing to think for a minute before adding cheekily, “Spending some quality time with my right hand?”

Gwiboon barked out a laugh, attention now on her friend instead of the re-run of the variety show that was playing.

“I probably won't burn off enough calories to cancel out the pint of ice cream I'm planning on eating though,” Junghee told her, sighing as though this was some great, unavoidable tragedy.

“So don't eat the whole pint?” Gwiboon suggested.

Junghee scoffed over-dramatically, “If only it was so simple."

Gwiboon rolled her eyes. “Well, at least you don't kill a tree every time you masturbate,” she pointed out.

“I thought it was kittens?”

What? Why would I kill a kitten?”

“Why would you kill a tree?”

“Wait,” Gwiboon shook her head as though to erase the exchange that had just occurred, “Where did you even get kittens from?”

“There are those stupid magnets or t-shirts or whatever for guys that say like, Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten,” Junghee explained, “I've never seen anything talking about trees...”

Gwiboon took a moment to stare incredulously at her friend before she burst out laughing, “Oh my god, that wasn't even what I was talking about at all.”

“Then what were you talking about?” Junghee asked, perplexed.

“Well, I uh...” Gwiboon blushed, “make kind of a...mess?”

Junghee snickered.

Shut up,” she snapped, “Anyway, I use paper towels so I don't get my sheets wet.”

Gwiboon could feel her cheeks heating up again, but she really only had herself to blame. She was the one that brought it up, after all.

“Oh my god, Gwiboon!” Junghee exclaimed, “That's hilarious.”

“It's not that funny!” Gwiboon quickly defended, even though she'd initially made the comment as a joke, “Apparently, girls who...um...squirt have better orgasms. So there.”

Junghee just looked at her disbelievingly, an amused smile on her face.

“It's true!” she insisted, “Look it up!”

“I'm not going to look it up,” Junghee told her, standing up from the couch and heading for the kitchen, “I'm gonna get myself a doughnut. Do you want one?”

“Sure,” Gwiboon agreed, feeling defeated and kind of embarrassed.

“Here you go,” Junghee said, handing her the pastry a minute later before taking a generous bite of her own.


“What?” Junghee asked through a mouth full of doughnut.

Gwiboon smirked. “I guess I know what you're doing tonight.”

a/n: Wow LJ, fuck you too. Way to make the process of posting even more inconvenient than before. In other words, there is no longer the option to use the old format when posting. It would funny how terrible it is if I didn't actually have to use it.

key plane
14th-Feb-2013 08:03 am (UTC)
spot for lishalishalisha b/c insanity
15th-Feb-2013 05:49 am (UTC)
Found this through a friend of mine, she was right, fucking hilarious!
15th-Feb-2013 05:57 am (UTC)
thank you!
i'm glad i'm not the only one who thinks these are funny XD
thanks for reading and commenting!
15th-Feb-2013 05:54 am (UTC)
Lol at jongho fist-bump. Such bros.
15th-Feb-2013 05:59 am (UTC)
haha yay! insanity is a party. that should not be taken out of context OTL
but yes. brotp of the century tbh.
thank you for reading and commenting!!!!
28th-Feb-2013 06:24 am (UTC)
Okay, so, it never occurred to me to look it up until now. Oh. Mah. Gad. It just gets better and better.

Edited at 2013-02-28 06:24 am (UTC)
28th-Feb-2013 07:26 am (UTC)
oh my god lmao XD
only in america OTL
14th-Feb-2013 08:04 am (UTC)
spot for mywookness :)
18th-Jul-2013 12:40 am (UTC)
omg yeah i hate the new 'use the new version' thing too
the jongho was really awesome. love the bromancey fics.
you know i love me some jongkey ;)
i love their dialogue. they can totally talk about such things 'cause they're so close.
girl!jongkey ftw.
20th-Jul-2013 05:40 am (UTC)
girl!jongkey wins all the awards lol
i'm glad you liked these!
ofc they can talk about everything~ lol
thanks for reading and commenting!
17th-Mar-2013 10:20 am (UTC)
Killing trees.
Of course. That will be my new euphemism for when I have too many feels. Not "I need to be somewhere else now," but "There are too many trees in this world."

JongHo was adorbs, btw.
18th-Mar-2013 01:25 am (UTC)
XD oh my gosh that's fantastic
i'm so glad that i could give you a new too-many-feels euphemism lmao
thanks for reading and commenting!
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