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The Garden of Earthly Delights
My Mind Is My Best Friend And My Worst Enemy
Familiar Faces in Unfamiliar Places (het!SuChen) 
28th-Apr-2013 05:05 am
Title: Familiar Faces in Unfamiliar Places
Pairing: Chen/girl!Suho
Rating: PG-13
Genre(s): humor, fluff
Warning(s): girl!Suho, gynecologists?
Word Count: 2,304
Summary: It's safe to say that Joonmyun had not been expecting Jongdae, her crush from back in high school, to be her new gynecologist. Cue the most awkward appointment of her life.
a/n: This happened because of a slip of the tongue and madelyn93. And props to bazza212 for dubbing it OBYChen XD

-----------------

Going to the gynecologist wasn't fun. No one was going to dispute that. Which was why Joonmyun waited until she was out of refills on her birth control to go. The problem was that she had just moved and so she had to find a new gynecologist. Before she'd gone to the same one as her mother, but now she was on her own. And she certainly didn't want to just pick a name at random from the phone book.

Deciding that a spoken recommendation would be the most desirable, Joonmyun asked her co-worker, Minseok, the next day. It was kind of a weird thing to bring up, to be honest. But they were both women and she knew that Minseok would at least understand that she wanted to make sure she was going to someone reputable.

"I go to Dr. Kim," Minseok told her over lunch, not seeming too phased by the question, "He's professional and pretty nice."

"He?"

Minseok laughed, "Yeah. I take it your previous doctor was a woman?"

Joonmyun nodded.

"It's not a big deal, really," Minseok assured her, "It doesn't really make that big of a difference when you get down to it."

Joonmyun supposed she was right.

So at the other's recommendation, Joonmyun made an appointment with Dr. Kim for the following week.

---

Joonmyun stared at the bulletin board covered in baby pictures as she waited for her name to be called. Despite the number of times she'd been to the gynecologist before, she still got a little nervous before each visit. Letting someone that you weren't sleeping with between your legs was just never comfortable.

"Kim Joonmyun?" a middle aged woman in scrubs called and Joonmyun scrambled to her feet to follow her back to a private room.

After asking her a few routine questions, she handed Joonmyun a paper gown and a paper blanket to drape over her lap, telling her to remove everything but her socks and Dr. Kim would be in soon.

Sitting on the examining table with the air conditioning blowing through the gaps in the gown and the blanket crinkling whenever she moved, Joonmyun cursed herself for not doing laundry the day before. She'd been forced to wear a pair of socks with cartoon characters on them since the rest were dirty, failing to remember that she'd be in only her socks for the appointment. Of all days.

A knock sounded at the door and Joonmyun jumped, feeling irrational dread for the impending examination, before calling out that they could come in. The door opened and a twenty-something man with short brown hair and a chiseled face walked in, lips curving up in a friendly smile. And oh shit. As if the gynecologist wasn't bad enough. As if having a man examine your womanly parts wasn't bad enough. As if recognizing your new gynecologist wasn't bad enough. Dr. Kim just had to be none other than Kim fucking Jongdae, Joonmyun's high school crush whom she hadn't seen since graduation. And now he was going to see everything. Oh god.

“It is you!” was the first thing out of his mouth, his familiar smile directed at her and Joonmyun was ashamed to admit that it still had her stomach flipping, “I saw the name on the chart and wondered!”

Joonmyun laughed nervously, hands twisting in her lap, “I didn't realize that you were my doctor.”

Jongdae looked thoughtful.

“Would you rather see the other doctor at the practice? I think he'd about to head home, but I can see if he'd be willing to see you really quickly.”

“No, it's fine,” Joonmyun assured him with a wave of her slightly shaking hand, never wanting to inconvenience anyone. But as soon as she'd said it, she regretted fencing off her last means of escape. Sure, she'd like to say that she was totally okay with this and have Jongdae think that she was just that confident and laid back, but the truth was, she wasn't. And now it was too late.

“Great,” Jongdae said with a grin, looking down at her file, “So you're just here for your annual checkup?”

Joonmyun nodded.

“And you're looking for a refill on your birth control, I see.”

Joonmyun nodded again and almost wanted to clarify that it wasn't currently being used as a means to not get pregnant. But then she thought maybe it was better if he thought it was. Maybe he'd think that she just had that many men banging down her door to get into her pants. Or maybe he'd assume that she had a serious boyfriend who was utterly committed to her. That way he wouldn't realize that she was currently being knocked down by four years worth of feelings all over again.

“Alright, let's get started,” he said, setting down the file and walking over to her, “I'm going to examine your breasts for lumps now, so if you'll just take your left arm out of the gown and rest your hand on my shoulder...”

Joonmyun did as she was told, looking off to the side while Jongdae's hand slipped under the paper and gently felt her breast. Just don't think about it, she told herself, continuing to look away when he checked the other breast before she was able to slip her arm back into the gown.

“Everything feels normal,” Jongdae told her, walking over to the other side of the room to grab a pair of latex gloves, “Now I'm going to have to ask you to lay back and put your feet in the stirrups.”

Swallowing nervously, Joonmyun complied with his instructions, pretending that it was the middle aged woman who used to be her obgyn that was going to examine her. It was fine. It was just a routine checkup. Nothing out of the ordinary. Of course, that was a blatant lie, but she was willing to do the mental gymnastics that it would take to get through this without being completely humiliated.

Jongdae sat down on the little stool at the end of the examining table, adjusting the paper over her bent knees, and Joonmyun willed herself not to think about the view he currently had. Of all the ways she'd ever imagined him between her legs, this was not it.

“Scoot down a little farther on the table, if you could,” he requested and Joonmyun's cheeks burned as she did, knees bending even further, “I'm going to place my hand on your thigh now.”

Joonmyun knew that the play by play was so she wouldn't be startled by any touches. Having someone poking around down there was always awkward and gynecologists knew that. But she almost wished that he'd just do it and get it over with. Having to hear him narrate everything was only serving to remind her just who was face to face with her vagina.

Jongdae's gloved hand settled on her thigh and Joonmyun tried her hardest to distract herself.

“Now I'm going to touch you, okay?”

She hummed to show she was listening, no matter how much she didn't want to be.

“And now I'm just going to put a finger inside and put my other hand on your abdomen to feel for anything abnormal.”

A lube-slick finger slid into her a second later and Joonmyun tried to remember the lyrics to the songs they performed at the choir concert her freshman year of college.

“So are you new to the area?” Jongdae asked, breaking the silence as he felt around.

He wanted to catch up now?

“Yeah, I just moved here a month ago,” she responded, hoping that she didn't sound as nervous and uncomfortable as she felt.

“New job?” he guessed.

“Yeah.”

“What do you do now? I remember you saying that you wanted to be a choir teacher back in high school.”

Oh god, could he not bring up high school and remind Joonmyun that the guy she used to fantasize about currently had a finger inside of her and a very intimate view of her most private parts? This was really, really bad enough without reminiscing.

“I actually work at an architectural firm,” she told him, “Mostly assisting one of the more experienced architects who works there.”

“That's really cool,” Jongdae said and Joonmyun couldn't help the little flush of pride that swept through her even as he pressed down against his abdomen with his other hand, “Didn't you go to college for music though?”

“I did, but I switched majors,” she explained, trying not to think about the pressure of his finger inside of her, “I didn't want to ruin music for myself.”

“I understand,” he replied, extracting his finger and standing up, “You might notice that I'm not a famous singer.”

Joonmyun laughed despite herself.

“Alright you can sit up,” he told her, walking over to the garbage can and throwing away his gloves.

Joonmyun grimaced at the feeling of the lube against the paper underneath her on the examining table.

“Everything seems perfectly fine,” Jongdae said with a smile, “You can get dressed and I'll be back in a few minutes.”

Joonmyun let out a breath when the door closed behind him, finding herself wondering if that had, in fact, just happened. If Jongdae, her high school crush, had really just gotten up close and personal with her vagina in a strictly professional way.

It seemed that, no matter how hard she wished that this was just a nightmare, like the ones she has where she's still in high school and she shows up naked (this was actually remarkably similar to that), it was reality.

Cleaning herself up and getting dressed again, Joonmyun just tried not to allow herself to think about what had just happened. And she felt infinitely more secure now that she was back in her clothes- jeans and a crew neck sweater. Which was perfect since feeling exposed was the last thing she needed right then.

But then there was the stupid way her heart was pounding in her chest, just like back in high school when she'd get the opportunity to talk to Jongdae in choir, all nervous anticipation and sweaty palms. Despite the fact that it had been eight years, it seemed that not much had changed. Except the location. And the amount of clothing that Joonmyun had on her body at any given time.

A knock at the door had Joonmyun straightening and hastily tucking a piece of stray hair behind her ear. Jongdae grinned at her as he re-entered the room and Joonmyun fought between embarrassment and elation.

“I'll just write your prescription for you and you can be on your way,” he said, pulling out his prescription tablet from his pocket and hastily scribbling away with his pen.

Joonmyun watched his hand move, trying to decide if she wanted him to hurry the fuck up so she could go wallow in her humiliation in her car alone, or if she wanted him to slow down so she could enjoy being in his presence again. She really had no idea when she was going to see him again considering she certainly wasn't going to continue to see him under these circumstances. That had to be a conflict of interest or something.

He handed the piece of paper over without fanfare and Joonmyun was almost disappointed.

“Thanks,” she smiled slightly, standing up and grabbing her purse from the chair it was on.

“Hey,” Jongdae said, stopping her as she reached out for the door handle, “Do you think I could have your number?”

Joonmyun whipped around, expecting to see his trademark smirk on his face- expecting that he had been making a joke. But he looked surprisingly sincere. Joonmyun felt her stomach flip flop as adrenaline shot down to her toes.

“Um...”

“It's good to see you again, you know?” he added, smiling hopefully at her.

“Wait,” Joonmyun shook her head as though to clear her thoughts, “You're asking me for my number now? After the exam?”

She knew she was staring at him with wide, incredulous eyes, but really? He's just been between her legs for god's sake. And now he was asking her out?

Jongdae looked sheepish for approximately half a second before that smirk was stretching across his face.

“I did give you the option to see the other doctor, to be fair,” he reminded her, seeming amused by the flush painting her cheeks.

“Well, I didn't know that you were going to ask me out afterward!” she defended.

He shrugged, still smirking and Joonmyun fought not to roll her eyes. He might have a doctorate now, but he was still the same sarcastic asshole he'd been in high school. And fuck, if she didn't kind of secretly like that about him.

She sighed before rummaging through her purse and pulling out a business card. Jongdae looked obnoxiously gleeful as he took the proffered card and Joonmyun just scowled even though she kind of wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it all.

“I'll take you out to a nice dinner,” he promised, “And if it makes you feel any better, I was going to suggest that you switch to the other doctor if you agreed to a date.”

Joonmyun found that pretending to be mad was too much work so she just smiled and shook her head fondly. She was pretty pleased, truth be told. Even if she was still feeling the pangs of embarrassment from knowing that Jongdae had been face to face with her vagina only ten minutes prior. Of course he would find some way to tease her about getting to third base before the first date. There was no doubt in her mind.

Even as he smiled at her with his professional doctor smile.

“Don't worry, Dr. Wu is great.”
















-Somehow, I have more planned for this verse. Idek. OTL
-Follow me on twitter @g_odalisque13
-Comments make my day! ♥

key neck
Comments 
28th-Apr-2013 10:08 am (UTC)
spot for bazza212 ^^
28th-Apr-2013 10:14 am (UTC)
Oh Jongdae, you asshole.

Great fic, well worth hearing you talk about how hard it was to write on twitter.

Poor Joonmyun though, oh God, no one would ever let you ever forget that...
28th-Apr-2013 10:08 am (UTC)
spot for mywookness :)
6th-Aug-2013 03:40 am (UTC)
freaking joonmyeon. she's adorable.
and i love chen. he can be such a troll and a piece of shit sometimes, but he is so sexy and the same time unf i know how you feel joonmyeon.
dr. wu.. seems like a great doctor /thumbs-up/ time to read the next part, then
& a lot of exo recently, huh?
28th-Apr-2013 10:14 am (UTC)
YEAH
28th-Apr-2013 10:21 am (UTC)
omfg i was going to leave you a spot and then my brain took a total shit and i put frances in the a/n instead of you i'm sorry i suck oh my god. fixed it now. OTL
28th-Apr-2013 10:29 am (UTC)
lol omg i laughed so hard reading this hahahaha
i really wanted to feel bad for junmyeon but i couldnt bc the whole scene was just too hilarious lmfao i wonder how jongdae managed to hold back his snarky comments (like seriously im sure he at least had really suggestive /thoughts/ hehehehehe)

and idky but minseok's and kris' appearance just made me laugh even more lol

(im glad jongdae asked her out btw!!!!)
28th-Apr-2013 10:33 am (UTC)
yeah i kind of felt bad for a while, but then i was jsut too amused XD
oh my god if this was from his perspective...OTL so many inappropriate thoughts. so many.
kris the gynecologist just kills me. idk why i think that's so funny. BUT I DO.
i'm glad you liked it!!
thanks for reading and commenting! <3
28th-Apr-2013 10:37 am (UTC)
The title itself is a winner already. All the awards.
And the fic ehehehehehehe that is totally junmyeon though, declining his only legitimate escape because he's too polite orz. Jongdae was nice enough but yesss he's going to be the biggest troll when they get together. Dr. wu cameo is perfect.
Lovely fic :D
28th-Apr-2013 10:43 am (UTC)
lmao i'm glad you liked it. as soon as i thought of that, i was like oh god that's so ridiculous, that /can't/ be the title. except it totally has to be XD
joonmyun was definitely too polite for her own good. and oh lord he is going to be impossible when they get together lmao
kris the gynecologist will never not make me laugh XD
thanks for reading and commenting!
29th-Apr-2013 12:04 am (UTC)
spot LOL
29th-Apr-2013 12:14 am (UTC)
I FOUND THIS SO FUNNY AND EXTREMELY PLEASANT x) poor suho, seriously ... he looks like me in the appointments somehow i always feel like i know the doctor personally, but OMFG Jongdae killed me, i was like almost expecting him to ask her during the observation, that would have been precious xD pahahahaha AND PLEASE MORE DO WRITE MORE OF THIS
(Deleted comment)
29th-Apr-2013 02:20 am (UTC)
wah thank you so much!

i never thought i'd want this either tbh XD
omg i know right? idk what it is. i can just totally picture kris as a gynecologist and it cracks me up lmao

i definitely have more planned!
thanks for reading and commenting!
29th-Apr-2013 01:56 am (UTC)
OMG this is so freakin' funny *i know is not supposed to be crack,but that last part line just tick me off XD*
i love it!!!
hope u make another verse of this fic :D
29th-Apr-2013 02:21 am (UTC)
don't worry, i find the idea of kris being a gynecologist absolutely hilarious as well XD
i definitely want to write more!
thanks for reading and commenting!
29th-Apr-2013 02:32 am (UTC)
BWAHAHAHAHAHA it is so awkward...and the ending...IT'S GOING TO BE WORSE LOL
29th-Apr-2013 04:34 am (UTC)
it's definitely going to be worse XD
thanks for reading and commenting!
29th-Apr-2013 05:40 am (UTC)
I sincerely hope you write more of this. I really really liked it. It was so entertaining.
29th-Apr-2013 08:27 am (UTC)
thank you!
i'm glad you liked it!
the plan is definitely to write more!
thanks for reading and commenting!
29th-Apr-2013 07:31 am (UTC)
the idea is golden omfg
29th-Apr-2013 08:28 am (UTC)
lmao i'm glad you like it!
thanks for reading and commenting!
29th-Apr-2013 07:45 am (UTC)
*spluttering noises* this is so good!! i had a good time reading <3
hahahahahahahaha jongdae what have you done and what are you going to do? omg omg can't help but to enjoy this verse
29th-Apr-2013 08:29 am (UTC)
thank so much!
i'm glad you liked it ^^
lmao jongdae is never going to let joonmyun forget how they got together
thanks for reading and commenting!
29th-Apr-2013 03:19 pm (UTC)
This is so funny and sweet (because awww they both didn't want to ruin singing so didn't pursue it it the end - wait that's more bittersweet than sweet i guess)

It's hilarious that Jongdae is a gynaecologist because omfg he really would be as well???
But Wu Fan as a Gynaecologist? That was gold, man, pure gold.
(I really hope you like do more of this, maybe with Wufan lol)
30th-Apr-2013 03:43 am (UTC)
lol ikr? jongdae as a gynecologist just...works? haha.
omg and i'm glad you agree about the entertainment value in wu fan as a gynecologist. definitely writng another fic in this verse with him!
thanks for reading and commenting!
29th-Apr-2013 05:29 pm (UTC)
omg >.<
freakin' alekfnawlefjalwekfnalwekfnalwekfjalsek
i can't even...just what!?!??!?!
OMG DON'T TELL ME KRIS IS THE OTHER GYNECOLOGIST~!?!?!?!?!?!?! ALKSENFLWEKAJF BRAIN NOT FUNCTIONING
JUST WAH~!!!!!!!! OMG JOONMYUN IS SO FREAKIN' ADORABLE BUT OMG MEETING YOUR CRUSH LIKE THIS AGAIN IS JUST ANLDKFJLFKNAWELFKAJWEFLA
WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (i'm like could you do one with dr. wu~?) heeheehee
kflakjg;lkwek my mouth keeps opening up but no words are coming out~
i feel broken~ and only slightly violated XDDDD
WAH~!!!!!
i can't wait for more from this verse because you did mention you had more planned ;)
heeheehee~~~~~
30th-Apr-2013 03:45 am (UTC)
lmao yep! kris is the other gynecologist.
and i'm definitely writing another one with dr. wu XD
i'm sorry i broke you ;; but i guess i'm glad you only feel slightly violated? lmao
i'm glad you liked it!
thanks for reading and commenting!
29th-Apr-2013 07:39 pm (UTC)
i read the summary and was like, this could get gross pretty quick. But thankfully it did not, and it was sort of funny but oh god really embarassing for joonmyun oh nooooo my face i s red i feel so bad for her

please write a second part bc i go crazy for genderswap and ive yet to read one for suchen! ~.~
30th-Apr-2013 03:47 am (UTC)
lmao yeah i definitely didn't want it to be gross. no one likes gynecologist visits lol.
i love genderswap too! a lot. which is probably pretty obvious by looking at my journal XD
and yeah...i felt bad for joonmyun when i was writing this. but at least the outcome is good! haha.
thanks for reading and commenting!
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