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The Garden of Earthly Delights
My Mind Is My Best Friend And My Worst Enemy
Woof Woof (TaeGi) 
3rd-Oct-2016 08:22 pm
Title: Woof Woof
Pairing: Yoongi/Taehyung
Rating: PG-13
Genre(s): fluff, romance, humor
Warning(s): a fictional dog named Bap (meaning rice), way too much fluff, even more facial expressions
Word Count: 929
Summary: Taehyung is impossible to flirt with, so Yoongi has a plan with four paws.

Read on ao3.

------------------

“I have a favor to ask,” Yoongi said when Jin opened his apartment door to let Yoongi inside.

“Um…” Jin hesitated even as Yoongi made himself at home, grabbing a soda from the fridge. “I dunno. Last time you needed a favor, we ended up talking to the cops in a parking lot at three am.”

“You peed on a cop car,” Yoongi pointed out, deadpan.

“How was I supposed to know it was a cop car? It was dark and I was drunk!” Jin defended.

“I’m not getting into this again with you,” Yoongi sighed, leaning back against the counter and taking a swig from the can. “Anyway, you won't even have to do anything this time.”

Jin raised his eyebrows expectantly.

“Can I borrow your dog?”

“What do you want with Bap?” Jin asked, suspicious.

“I just want to take her on a walk,” Yoongi explained, taking a drink to avoid Jin’s eyes when his gaze became shrewd.

“This wouldn't have anything to do with a particular barista, would it?” he wondered knowingly, eyes sparkling with amusement.

“No, I just feel like wandering around with your dog for fun,” Yoongi said sarcastically.

“Don’t insult my dog’s company,” Jin warned, affronted, before his mouth tilted mischievously. “So, what's the plan?”

Yoongi rolled his eyes, uncomfortable under Jin’s teasing scrutiny. “I’m just gonna walk by the cafe with Bap. That’s all.”

“And you think he’ll just come running out?”

“I know he will,” Yoongi confirmed. “He always brings treats when there are dogs outside.”

“Alright,” Jin chuckled, bending down to scoop up the fluffy white dog in question when she came in to investigate what was happening in the kitchen. “That’s...a plan. But couldn’t you just...go inside and order something? Wouldn't that be a little more straightforward? And at least you wouldn't be overshadowed by Bap, then.”

Yoongi chose to ignore the gentle insult.

“You don’t think I’ve done that?” Yoongi demanded, frustrated. “Last time I was in there, I was talking to him after he gave me my drink, and then he saw a dog outside and ran away mid conversation to bring it a treat!”

Jin snorted, not appearing sympathetic to Yoongi’s plight in the least.

“He is impossible to flirt with!” Yoongi defended. “One time I asked him what time he got off, you know, hoping he’d get the double meaning, and he just stared at me blankly and then told me ten o’clock.”

“Oh man,” Jin cackled, his belly laughs disrupting Bap as she tried to snooze in his arms, making her wiggle until Jin put her down. “So when innuendos don’t work, bring in the dogs?”

“I don’t know what else to do,” Yoongi said with a scowl.

“Bap is a good wingwoman,” Jin assured him on a chuckle, patting Yoongi on the shoulder.

Yoongi sure hoped that was true.

He felt like he’d tried just about everything aside from holding up a sign that said Date Me in glitter.

And since he wasn’t keen on doing that, everything was resting on Bap’s furry little shoulders.


---


Trying not to be obvious about it, Yoongi looked into the window of the cafe- squinting against the sunlight to see into the darker interior. And there he was, brows furrowed as he concentrated on making something in the blender, blinking in surprise when it appeared his co worker said something to him before his face split into a grin.

Yoongi fought against the way his lips were trying to curl up in response.

“Okay, time to look cute,” he said softly to Bap as he bent down to pick her up off the sidewalk where she had been sniffing a sign post.

With Bap in one arm, Yoongi held his phone in his other hand as though he wasn’t just standing there waiting to be noticed. Maybe he just had to answer a very important text right then, right there in front of the cafe. It was casual. Even as the sun beat down on him and had sweat beading underneath his cap.

How long should he stand there? He was pretty sure Bap was enough of a lure, but he wasn’t going to just wait all afternoon like he had nothing better to do.

A few more minutes, Yoongi reasoned with himself as he stared at his phone screen to avoid looking into the cafe like a creep. He’d give it a few more minutes and then he’d-

“Hi!” had Yoongi looking up, immediately recognizing the deep voice that had loudly greeted him. “Yoongi, right? I didn't know you had a dog!”

His eyes stuck on the name tag first- boasting an array of smiley face stickers in a variety of colors beside the name Taehyung written in all caps- before his vision was assaulted with an exaggerated rectangular grin aimed at him.

But before he could return the smile, that grin was directed at the dog, and well...that's what he had expected to happen, anyway.

“She’s my friend’s dog,” Yoongi offered, not wanting Taehyung to find him less appealing, but figuring that if they did date, Taehyung would probably realize he didn’t actually have a dog pretty quickly.

“What’s her name?” Taehyung cooed, setting down his dog supplies on a table outside the cafe in favor of cupping doggy cheeks and accepting a lick on the nose.

“Bap,” Yoongi told him, expecting the laugh and the quirk of the brow that he got.

“Bap?” Taehyung asked, eyes scrunched in amusement as he continued to scratch Bap behind the ears.

“My friend…” Yoongi shook his head instead of trying to explain Jin’s state of mind. “Yes, her name is Bap.”

“Cute,” Taehyung said as he went back to showering the dog with attention, not even sounding sarcastic.

“You can hold her,” Yoongi offered, because as much as he was enjoying having Taehyung so close to his person, it was a little weird to be carrying on a conversation with the top of his head.

Yoongi quickly shoved that entire thought process away as he handed Bap over to Taehyung who was making sounds of excitement at the dog as she licked his chin.

Once again, Yoongi found himself ignored in favor of a dog, but at least this time it was socially acceptable for him to stand there and watch as Taehyung completely won over the heart of yet another canine.

Truthfully, he couldn’t help himself from smiling as he watched the way Taehyung’s cheeks bunched up from grinning so that his eyes nearly disappeared as he laughed and made cute sounds at the dog.

Yoongi could never, ever tell Jin, but Taehyung was even cuter than Bap, who was actually pretty adorable herself, despite her ridiculous name and ridiculous owner.

“Is it okay if I give her a treat?” Taehyung asked, eyes wide and questioning on Yoongi.

Jin had a very strict no people food policy for Bap, but Yoongi figured a dog treat should be okay, so he nodded, accepting the leash back as he watched Taehyung put her down on the sidewalk and retrieve a treat from the bag that he’d set on the table earlier.

“Good girl,” he cooed as he motioned for her to sit and then handed her the treat.

“Hey, so,” Yoongi cut in, pulling Taehyung’s attention back to him since he would probably be scampering back into work any second now and Yoongi didn’t want to have to go back to Jin and admit that he had done nothing but take Bap on a walk. “Can I get your number?”

Straight to the point. No more being interrupted by dogs or obnoxious, caffeine craving customers. If he said no, then he said no. If he said no and was horribly freaked out, then Yoongi could find a new place to get his coffee. There was a Dunkin Donuts across the street, anyway.

Taehyung blinked at him, mouth hanging open slightly and eyes wide in surprise and confusion like Yoongi had broken the news that the dog he’d spent the last few minutes falling in love with was actually a pigeon with four legs.

“For what?” he finally asked, face still the picture of bewilderment.

“To take you on a date,” Yoongi told him, able to feel how high his own brows had climbed as he waited for an answer. “Hopefully?”

Taehyung’s jaw sagged even more before he snapped his mouth closed.

“Oh!” Taehyung’s face transformed from confoundment to excitement, taking a few detours in between that resulted in...Yoongi wasn’t sure what, but Taehyung was grinning now, cheeks a little flushed, so he figured it was a good sign.

“Here,” Yoongi said, handing over his phone and feeling his lips quirk when Taehyung fumbled a little as he took it from Yoongi’s hand. “You can just type your number in and I’ll save it.”

Taehyung nodded, eyes wide again as his smile waxed and waned like he didn’t know what to do with his face.

“You don’t have to?” Yoongi offered, because while he was pretty sure that had been happiness at Yoongi’s mention of a date, a whole lot of things were happening and he didn’t want Taehyung to feel obligated. Or pull a muscle in his face trying to decide how he felt about Yoongi’s request.

“I want to!” Taehyung was quick to assure him, panic stricken when he looked up to hand the phone back and laughing a second later. “I just didn’t know you liked me. You didn’t seem to respond when I flirted with you so…”

“You flirted with me?” Yoongi couldn’t help but ask, brows furrowed as he tried to remember...anything that could have been flirting. “When?”

“Whenever you come in,” Taehyung said with a shrug, chuckling self consciously.

“Last time I came in, you were telling me about toaster ovens.”

“Yeah!” Taehyung agreed happily, not seeming to find that incongruous with flirting.

That was fine.

“Okay,” Yoongi laughed, feeling warmth fill his chest with how Taehyung was smiling at him.

“Oh, I should get back to work,” Taehyung said, shooting a nervous look back inside the cafe.

“I’ll text you,” Yoongi promised, smiling fondly as Taehyung crouched down to say goodbye to Bap before he gave Yoongi a quick wave as he trotted back inside.

Well, that had gone...really well.

Yoongi couldn’t help but grin as he saved Taehyung’s number and replayed the last few minutes in his head.

When he pocketed his phone, Bap was looking at him expectantly- probably wondering why they’d been standing in the same place for the past ten minutes.

“Okay, we can go,” Yoongi told the dog, starting back toward Jin’s apartment with Bap scampering along beside him. “You are a good wingwoman.”



taehyung
Comments 
1st-Mar-2017 12:27 pm (UTC)
Omg Annie! What is this?! How is it cute and stupid at the same time~? They're just so oblivious that I wanna squish them!
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